This song is just permanently stuck in my brain as the eternal question:
Where do we go from here now that all of the children have grown up
And how do we spend our time knowin' nobody gives us a damn
I don't want to live here no more,
I don't want to stay
Ain't gonna spend the rest of my life,
Quietly fading away
"I don't want to live here no more" seems more of a metaphorical statement these days. I have a serious yen to finally finish the inside of my house this year. New furniture and everything. I can afford it, I will need to hire people to do the floor and I would love to have the kitchen moved to opposite corners. If I do it, though, it will be me settling in for the long haul, in the house and at work. I want the back yard turned into a woodland setting with very little left to mow, also. I already have a colony of voles. I am going to evict them, but at least I know my yard is a friendly place. I just hope that the universe gives me a good handyman to help me out. I need a new vehicle, too, and a job would make sure that I can pay for it.
So if I am going to stay in my house and at my job, what part of "here" do I not want to live in? I am going to take a hard look at counseling; I'm not getting anything from this new counselor, including a dog. I have had too much Cognitive style therapy and while I know she is learning how to do it, all I am doing is rehashing. The next appointment is going to surprise her because the 5 column form is going to be full of me questioning if I need to take a break. I think I do. It may be time to grow away from the security (crutch) of the counselor and be open to real people to interact with.
I am feeling better. I can't remember if it was Monkey or Nerd, but one of them suggested upping my Vitamin D so I am taking it morning and night now and it's made a HUGE difference! I'm actually getting out of bed on the weekends! I took the cats out Sunday and that's how I found out about the voles, Adso had his face buried in one of the holes so I started scouting it out and it's a classic vole colony structure; lots of holes and top of the ground trails, really messy looking.
Lunar Eclipse Friday, 4:33 pm PT, 22 degrees in Leo, part of a YOD pointing at Chiron at 22 d in Pisces. Charmic, past life, ancestral wound healing. Moon and Jupiter retrograde in Libra make up the YOD. Grand trine in fire- Uranus at 27 d, Moon at 22 d, Saturn 25 d and Lilith 19d in Sagittarius. Inspiration and creativity. Overall- fulfill your mission. A lot of Jesus, love and compassion energy. What is your mission on the planet? Ignite yourself! Don't try to control others, do what's true to you. Relationship could be highlighted.
So that's where I am today. This year is about growth and change and I can feel it working in me. I'm glad I took up the astrology when I did, otherwise I'd be all confused about what's going on.