3ball-b.jpg (273×260)

The spongy black squshy ball's battery had long since died when my hero-son, knowing how much I enjoyed it when alive, performed the necessary ressurrective surgery and, once again, the

                                        MOOD BALL

                                            speaks. 

 

The Mood Ball was years ago given to Tamar as a Holiday Gift from a sincere colleague who affirms whenever possible or impossible that

                                        God Blesses 

Sneezes, Coughs, Droughts, Over-Ripe Cheese, Mass Starvations, Pizza Toppings, Exzema, Overpriced Theater Tickets, Pinching Maidenforms, Tweens Who Mash Ginko Berries into Your Jock Strap.... 

The Mood Ball, when squeezed, emits a woman's slightly nasally voice, calm yet assertive, not unlike one you might imagine may belong to a faux-cheery group-leader at a 1970s Esalen offshoot or to a contemporary unlicensed "Life Coach". 

---

Here's the Mood Ball's Squozen-Advice, followed by my sincere usual replies. 

 

I'M IN CONTROL!    (the fuck you are)

NOTHING CAN RUIN MY DAY!     (fuck your grandmother) 

NO ONE CAN STEAL MY JOY!     (fuck your joy)

I'M NOT STRESSED!     (the fuck you're not)

BALANCE IS THE KEY TO A HAPPY LIFE!    (really? balance t h i s)

COUNT TO TEN!    (then fucking die)

TAME YOUR TENSION!     (tame  t h i s)

BREATHE BEFORE YOU SPEAK!     (go choke)

QUIET THE MIND!    (fuck your aunt bessie)

THINK POSITIVE!     (drop fucking dead)

RELAX, RELAX, RELAX!     (yeah? you fucking relax)

MAKE PEACE WITH IMPERFECTION!     (make your peace, now)

PRACTICE PATIENCE!     (really? practice t h i s)

YOU'RE TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED!     (oh BFD)

DON'T BE YOUR OWN WORST CRITIC!    (BFD again)

EXERCISE THE POWERFUL WORD "NO"!    (Fuck No)

 

Have a Nice Day. 

Views: 315

Comment by Jonathan Wolfman on March 18, 2015 at 3:19am

A verrry Nice Day.

Comment by Julie Johnson on March 18, 2015 at 3:43am

 ...oh...I want one of those !  

Comment by Jonathan Wolfman on March 18, 2015 at 3:44am

:)   They make Life Worth Fucking Living. 

Comment by koshersalaami on March 18, 2015 at 4:01am
You're such a cynic.but a funny cynic.
Comment by koshersalaami on March 18, 2015 at 4:02am
Si it's like a post EST Magic 8 Ball? It is decidedly so.
Comment by Jonathan Wolfman on March 18, 2015 at 4:09am

:)  :)   I'm a Skeptic...I believe everything's possible...good and evil...Cynics believe nothing good is ever really possible (and that's why they're all-mouth and no action....skeptics make good activists...cynics are never activists.

Comment by Claudia Darling on March 18, 2015 at 4:19am
Myself, I believe in the power of the Magic Eight Ball. "Signs point to yes." "Signs hazy. Try again." "Without a doubt."
Comment by Jonathan Wolfman on March 18, 2015 at 4:26am

A Great Toy! I had one!

Comment by Claudia Darling on March 18, 2015 at 4:27am
Weeeeeelll, I must admit this Mood Ball sounds mighty enticing.
Comment by Jonathan Wolfman on March 18, 2015 at 4:31am

You cannot imagine how annoying it is ... ... ...   ;)

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