"WHITE HOUSE STAFF BUNKERS DOWN" - Subterranean Script!

National Security Advisor, General H.R. McMaster inspects his troop in secret bunkers deep inside the White House cavernous basement - there's Steve Bannon, Jared Kushner, Peince Priebus, Sean Spicer, Kellyanne Conway & Ivanka:

Gen. McMASTER

I'm just coming down here for oxygen - get off the air pipe, Spicer!

SEAN SPICER

Make me!

Gen. McMASTER

See the stars on my jacket - I earned them.

SEAN SPICER

See the stain on my jacket - Guacamole!

KELLYANNE CONWAY

How long do I have to be here - I'm having a panic attack & talking gibberish.

STEVE BANNON

Yes, get her out of here - she's starting to make sense.

McMASTER

Anything you want me to tell the boss?

SEAN SPICER

Yeah, ask him to say he met Hitler & take us out of our misery.

McMASTER

Don't worry, nobody forgot you're down here - Trump told the Russians where you are.

STEVE BANNON

Why aren't you nervous, Jared?

JERED KUSHNER

I'm going for the quick fix - an hour ago Trump ate a bucket of fried chicken that could kill a horse.

Oh, hi honey.

IVANKA

Look - I designed bunker outfits for all of you.

JARED

No, sweetie - someone has to stay upstairs to call the guys with the net.

STEVE BANNON

Yeah, you better go back up - unless you like to bet on Russian Roulette.

REINCE PRIEBUS

Who has the gun?

IVANKA

No need - it's all gonna blow over in a week.

MICHAEL FLYNN

Got a match?

STEVE BANNON

Is that you, Flynn.

MICHAEL FLYNN

Who else would finish Nixon's baloney sandwich!

Gen. McMASTER

You know - I kinda liked it out there on the lawn - the reporters were screaming my name - like a Rock Star!

SEAN SPICER

I remember when I was Best Boy!

JARED

That makes 2 of us - he makes me wear his monogrammed condoms!

IVANKA

Well, it turns me on!

KELLYANNE

You get turned on by 500 thread count Spreadsheets!

IVANKA

Well, I'm leaving!

KELLYANNE

Is that a promise?

STEVE BANNON

Ever see the old movie "Lifeboat"?

SEAN SPICER

Didn't they eat each other? 

Happy to say you can also see this article in "Humor Times Magazine".

http://www.humortimes.com/61419/white-house-staff-bunker/

Views: 43

Comment by Boanerges on May 18, 2017 at 3:42pm

Not much divorced from reality, when you think about it. Of course, that's the basis for all good satire -- as well you know.

These people have no shame. Well might someone ask, as Joseph Nye Welch did of Tail Gunner Joe McCarthy: "At long last, have you no sense of decency, Sir?"

Comment by JMac1949 Today on May 18, 2017 at 3:43pm

...and then there's this Conway interview offered to Fox, then canceled.  Couldn't happen to a more deserving bunch of Fuck Heads.

Comment by marilyn sands on May 18, 2017 at 7:23pm

Thanks Boanerges!  The country is jumpin' with news...pointing in one direction - out!

Comment by marilyn sands on May 18, 2017 at 7:36pm

Thanks jmac!  Whew...we were spared her interview!  In order to keep up with Trump's breaking news flashes we'd have to sleep next to him & his phone - as it is - we're all exhausted! 

Comment by Steel Breeze on May 19, 2017 at 8:32am

R-ouch-&L...

Comment by marilyn sands on May 19, 2017 at 9:55am

Thanks Steel!  I expect the crew to be in the bunker for the whole Mideast Trip!

Comment by Ron Powell on May 19, 2017 at 7:20pm

Good job!

Comment by marilyn sands on May 19, 2017 at 8:06pm

Thanks so much Ron!  Someday the young whippersnappers (ha ha) will be saying "Remember Trumpgate"?

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