"WHITE HOUSE STAFF BUNKERS DOWN" - Subterranean Script!

National Security Advisor, General H.R. McMaster inspects his troop in secret bunkers deep inside the White House cavernous basement - there's Steve Bannon, Jared Kushner, Peince Priebus, Sean Spicer, Kellyanne Conway & Ivanka:

Gen. McMASTER

I'm just coming down here for oxygen - get off the air pipe, Spicer!

SEAN SPICER

Make me!

Gen. McMASTER

See the stars on my jacket - I earned them.

SEAN SPICER

See the stain on my jacket - Guacamole!

KELLYANNE CONWAY

How long do I have to be here - I'm having a panic attack & talking gibberish.

STEVE BANNON

Yes, get her out of here - she's starting to make sense.

McMASTER

Anything you want me to tell the boss?

SEAN SPICER

Yeah, ask him to say he met Hitler & take us out of our misery.

McMASTER

Don't worry, nobody forgot you're down here - Trump told the Russians where you are.

STEVE BANNON

Why aren't you nervous, Jared?

JERED KUSHNER

I'm going for the quick fix - an hour ago Trump ate a bucket of fried chicken that could kill a horse.

Oh, hi honey.

IVANKA

Look - I designed bunker outfits for all of you.

JARED

No, sweetie - someone has to stay upstairs to call the guys with the net.

STEVE BANNON

Yeah, you better go back up - unless you like to bet on Russian Roulette.

REINCE PRIEBUS

Who has the gun?

IVANKA

No need - it's all gonna blow over in a week.

MICHAEL FLYNN

Got a match?

STEVE BANNON

Is that you, Flynn.

MICHAEL FLYNN

Who else would finish Nixon's baloney sandwich!

Gen. McMASTER

You know - I kinda liked it out there on the lawn - the reporters were screaming my name - like a Rock Star!

SEAN SPICER

I remember when I was Best Boy!

JARED

That makes 2 of us - he makes me wear his monogrammed condoms!

IVANKA

Well, it turns me on!

KELLYANNE

You get turned on by 500 thread count Spreadsheets!

IVANKA

Well, I'm leaving!

KELLYANNE

Is that a promise?

STEVE BANNON

Ever see the old movie "Lifeboat"?

SEAN SPICER

Didn't they eat each other? 

Happy to say you can also see this article in "Humor Times Magazine".

http://www.humortimes.com/61419/white-house-staff-bunker/

Views: 39

Comment by Boanerges on Thursday

Not much divorced from reality, when you think about it. Of course, that's the basis for all good satire -- as well you know.

These people have no shame. Well might someone ask, as Joseph Nye Welch did of Tail Gunner Joe McCarthy: "At long last, have you no sense of decency, Sir?"

Comment by JMac1949 Today on Thursday

...and then there's this Conway interview offered to Fox, then canceled.  Couldn't happen to a more deserving bunch of Fuck Heads.

Comment by marilyn sands on Friday

Thanks Boanerges!  The country is jumpin' with news...pointing in one direction - out!

Comment by marilyn sands on Friday

Thanks jmac!  Whew...we were spared her interview!  In order to keep up with Trump's breaking news flashes we'd have to sleep next to him & his phone - as it is - we're all exhausted! 

Comment by Steel Breeze on Friday

R-ouch-&L...

Comment by marilyn sands on Friday

Thanks Steel!  I expect the crew to be in the bunker for the whole Mideast Trip!

Comment by Ron Powell on Saturday

Good job!

Comment by marilyn sands on Saturday

Thanks so much Ron!  Someday the young whippersnappers (ha ha) will be saying "Remember Trumpgate"?

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