This .. this .... thing, is eight feet long. She bought it for twenty dollars from poor white people on craig's list. Went to looking for a thing, Asia did, and I guess this one stood out. A bit cumbersome I muttered. Yet intriguing she whispered in return. It was hell to get home. Luckily the main drawers were missing, and one huge foot, making it lighter, but not shorter. I haven't included before pictures---don't want to overload the internet---but suffice to say it was a bad brown, had spiders .. all that. The process involved this great new thing, "chalk paint" .. who knew? The rest of the details I'll spare. Most people have done something like this so know it sucks, the rehab. And note: I only watched but will say it was a long process.
So YAY Asia right. But that's not what I'm here to talk about. No! Now I need help designing scenery and making puppets for the missing drawer slots.
What sort of scenes could be set up in the lower luscious red regions of the thing once we throw the black towel over the topside nativity at midnight Sunday? For the rest of the year, you know. There are six opportunities here, bottom two being largest.
The Marquis de Sade's basement torture chamber?
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest where Nurse Ratchet turns off the World Series?
One really decadent mess of a vampire orgy, possibly from True Blood?
Ricky Ricardo telling Lucy she has some 'splainin' to do
or .. in that vane, Ralph Cramden winding up to punch Alice over the moon in The Honeymooners?
OH! Dick Cheney being ass-pirated by Satan as partial payment for .. you know. No question mark here. This must be done. Argghhh!!
Need a little help.
The sky is the limit but we will need someone to sew dolls and such. For that I nominate SBA. Maybe Phyllis. Hmmm
And ideas, ideas are needed. Thank you my friends. It's going to be tremendous. How tremendous? Very very tremendous!