The young man is smoking pot, I have learned. I learned it when he had his two corpulent buddy boys over, disappeared up in his room for half an hour of wallshattering giggling and boyish carrying on, descended and ate 3 pizzas and a plate of brownies and half a dozen bags of smoked beef and half a bag of Smartfood. Plus I think they got into my frozen Heath bars.

 

   

 First thing I did was rat him out to his Mom.

     “Woody is smoking weed,” I announced over the morning newspaper---a pygmy of a paper, a “rag’’, the COLUMBUS DISTPATCH which is quickly dispatched to the recycling bit.

     “I know. He has been for over a year. “

     “O.K. Just mentioning it. In my paternal mode. “

     “Thank you, dear.”

 

   With that quandary quickly dispatched, I turned my attention to the paper.

   MAN SETS HIMSELF ON FIRE OUTSIDE CITY  HALL, the Metro section front page proclaimed mildly. Seems there is a charred spot on the City Hall patio where a 58 yr old man set himself aflame. He rolled around and stumbled here and there and ended up next to the Christopher Columbus statue, crispy.

 

   Star Trek was on. It was the one where Kirk meets Lincoln and Spock meets the First Vulcan, Father of All We Hold True. I would like to meet such a hero of my own life. I suppose it would be Whitehead, please don’t laugh at the choice. He was a brilliant mystic mathematician –philosopher poet who led a mild and harmless existence with a vivacious wife at his side the whole time.

 

   I  look at Margaret and she senses it and smiles in a quizzical way, her head bent just the slightest…

 

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Comment by Phyllis on August 19, 2015 at 7:57am

Are you seeing yourself as Whitehead as you type that final paragraph? :) Where does one buy pot? I've never been able to figure that out.

Comment by James Mark Emmerling on August 19, 2015 at 8:01am

Phyllis i never figgered it out either. I guess i would buy pot from HIM, right? 

I am indeed  seeing myself as a mild man in the loving vivacious embrace of a real woman, a frustration and delight of a gal, my Margie Girl. 

Comment by JMac1949 Today on August 19, 2015 at 8:06am

I'm assuming that the reverse Déjà vu double post is a reflection of the influence of attempting to write a post under the influence.  R&L ;-)

Comment by James Mark Emmerling on August 19, 2015 at 8:21am

The house is nicely full of second hand smoke. I am getting a good contact buzz, jmac.

People hold first hand smoke in too much exteem, it is effervescent, it is temporary, whereas second hand smoke movesin the live with  you and bring you delight.

Comment by James Mark Emmerling on August 19, 2015 at 8:22am

esteem...moves in to live with you...

Comment by Phyllis on August 19, 2015 at 8:25am

Deep breaths...

Comment by James Mark Emmerling on August 19, 2015 at 8:44am

Like, got some swag?

They use that word alot, it must mean pot.

Whoops.

The most used word in the whole fucking universe. Douche bags use it, your kids use it, your mail man uses it, and your fucking dog uses it. If you got swag, you generally wear those shitty hats side way, and your ass hanging out like a fucking goof cause your pants are half way down your white ass legs. To break down the word, it means (Secretly We Are Gay). It is also a word that means to represent yourself/ the way you represent yourself, baggy clothes, shitty hats, small penis and basically a way to say your afraid to come out of the closet.
Assface Magee: I got so much swag
Darrel: You got so much dick in your ass
Assface Magee: Fuck you, SWAG
Comment by Margaret Feike on August 19, 2015 at 8:46am

Uh, Phyllis - don't call it "pot." I was informed of this recently by the young man's younger sister; when I remarked on the perpetual pot party that I seem to be hosting, she snidely said "Don't call it pot." Didn't deny the party thing.

When I repeated the conversation to James and asked him if he thought I was an unfit parent he answered, "Call it weed." Didn't address the fit/unfit thing. Probably better that he didn't.

Comment by JMac1949 Today on August 19, 2015 at 8:56am

Back in the day when I was dealing, we always called it "weed" when we were negotiating the price with growers/distributors, but like the current crop of "legal" retailers, we called it all kinds of "cool" names when we sold it to our customers:

Comment by koshersalaami on August 19, 2015 at 8:58am
Swag in my industry is stuff we give out free, usually t shirts and stuff like that

Be careful about, uh, cannibis at too young an age. Brains are still developing and too much can affect development.

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