When we were young I thought life seemed so sweet.

That, surely, we would be forever young.

Waiting for the next big life adventure,

Top down - sun on our face - tasting the wind.


And then we knew that someday far way

The music on the carousel would die

And we each prayed that we would be the first

The one to leave the other one behind


We never could imagine being half

To wander along life’s road forsaken

To rise alone, staggering through the day

I told her she should find another mate.


Society shuns women left alone.

And she needs someone in her life that cares.

Not a fool, she makes her own decisions,

Yet, needs someone with whom to share her dreams.


And now it seems that I may be the first

The first to drop into that dark abyss

The black hole of the soul that we all face

That swallows all of light and sound and life.


And what if she should find another soul mate?

And choose to spend eternity with him?

I could not bear the thought of life without her,

And, cannot face the thought of death alone.

Yet, nothing of the other side is known

We could be dancing nude on streets of gold.

It could be death is but a void, and yet

Imagine a ménage à trois of souls.

Views: 139

Comment by JMac1949 Today on April 30, 2017 at 6:08am

If there is an afterlife I imagine that it might be the embrace of the arms of a grandmother.

Comment by koshersalaami on April 30, 2017 at 11:04am

Great question.

The answer in your case is that if you have a replacement, if you go anytime soon, will not be her soulmate. He will be someone for companionship, probably someone who has lost a lifelong love of his own. Both will understand that they seek each other because of the loss of the parents of their children, the loss of the ones who count. They will not have time to build what you have. There will be too much shared experience missing. 

In other words, your replacement will be a place holder. . 

Comment by Ron Powell on April 30, 2017 at 7:33pm

"I sent my Soul through the Invisible,
Some letter of that After-life to spell:
And by and by my Soul return'd to me,
And answer'd: 'I Myself am Heav'n and Hell."

The Rubaiyat

Omar Khayyám

Comment by Rodney Roe on April 30, 2017 at 10:10pm

JMac, I don't remover being held by either grandmother, but that is as close to unconditional love as I can imagine.

kosh, that's well reasoned, and an observation that L has made a pot men going "middle age crazy". what would they talk about?

fm, I suspect that you are right. 

Ron, so, I'm not the first to ask this question?

I read the Rubaiyat as a teen and was more impressed at that time with, " a loaf of bread, a glass of wine, and thou beside me in the wilderness" at that stage.


Comment by Ron Powell on April 30, 2017 at 11:40pm

Boone's Farm Apple Wine,

or a bottle of Chianti swathed in a basket of straw?

Comment by Anna Herrington on May 1, 2017 at 10:24am


Rodney, this is truly a lovely and loving, sad and haunting post.

My husband and I just hope to go out at the same second by tsunami or something. Preferably not a North Korean nuclear missile actually hitting the U.S. west coast.

You just never know what's ahead, as you know .... my stepfather we were sure was about to go, he was on oxygen for ages, in and out of hospital, given a couple months to live, set up everything he could so my mom wasn't alone and broke or anything.... then she had two strokes, a brain aneurysm, and was gone in a couple weeks, months before he also died.

Dying is a tough topic for so many, I appreciate your frankness....

and, I will add, you're a great presence here (and offline, too, no doubt), hope you stick around awhile!

Comment by Rodney Roe on May 1, 2017 at 4:21pm

Thanks, Anna. "We see as through a glass, darkly". I hope to be around a while.

Comment by Rodney Roe on May 4, 2017 at 12:35am

My wife, who never reads any of my "brain drippings", read this.  Her question, "Lovely.  I'm amazed that you think so despite my occasional ass holiness."


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