Trump Threatens Venezuela With Possible Military Option: Speaking to reporters from his New Jersey golf course, President Trump further escalated his warnings against foreign powers, this time threatening the possibility of military intervention in Venezuela. After all this, many are starting to wonder which country Trump will threaten next. One thing’s for sure, with Trump in the White House, we’ll never have to worry about repeating Napoleon and Hitler’s big mistake of invading Russia.
South Carolina Issues Lizard People Warning During Eclipse: The South Carolina Emergency Management Division is officially cautioning citizens of that state “to remain ever vigilant,” because the upcoming solar eclipse is likely to coincide with an increase in paranormal activity in the form of “lizard people” sightings. And this is coming from a state which hasn’t legalized marijuana, so they can’t blame it on the weed. Personally, I think there’s just one hell of a lot of people in South Carolina and Northern Florida who happen to be damn good at catching flies with their tongues, which may account for the confusing sightings.
Coffee Boosts Brain’s Ability to Store Long-Term Memory: Scientists have found that a shot of caffeine greatly enhances the brain’s ability to store long-term memories. Too bad, because I was hoping that one-day I could forget just how much money I spend at Starbucks.