Trump’s Claims to Have Tremendous New Trade Deal with Mexico: After months of fractious negotiations, President Donald Trump announced that his administration has reached an understanding with Mexico on a tremendous new 16-year trade deal which will replace the current North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA). And while no has any real idea exactly what the hell’s in it, I do have to admit that it does sounds a lot like the greatest trade deal ever negotiated in the history of the world. My only questions are 1) does this mean the administration will be issuing another commemorative coin like they did for North Korea treaty and 2) does it include a check covering Mexico’s payment to build Trump’s wall and 3) how is this expected to impact the price of chalupas off the food truck in the parking lot outside my Target store?
Scientists Link Air Pollution Exposure To Cognitive Decline: Researchers conducted math and verbal tests over the course of multiple years and found a strong link between air pollution exposure and cognitive decline. Well then, guess that pretty much explains all the frigg’n idiots behind the wheel on the freeways here in LA.
Russian Trolls Spreading Discord Over Vaccine Safety: A new investigation uncovered several accounts - now known to belong to the same Russian trolls who interfered in the last US election - tweeting false information against vaccines in an attempt to spread more discord throughout the US. Truthfully, I think the Russians are just a bit confused and don’t realize that medical science doesn’t consider downing multiple shots of Stolichnaya every day as a viable vaccine against disease.