Trump Mocked by Hawaiians Holding Welcome to Kenya Signs: President Trump found himself greeted by protesters sporting mocking signs that read "Welcome to Kenya" when he touched down in Hawaii on the first leg of his Asia-Pacific tour. President Trump was there to meet with the President of Hawaii and to let their people know that they are surrounded by a very big ocean.
Rand Paul Assaulted at His Home in Bowling Green: According to the Kentucky State Police, GOP Sen. Rand Paul has been assaulted by a neighbor while mowing his lawn in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Wow, sounds like he’s a big “hit” with the neighbors. And what the hell kind of Republican mows his own lawn anyway? Why doesn’t he hire undocumented workers and then just not pay them like the President and rest of his party? Is it any wonder why this country is going down the tubes?
Male Woolly Mammoths More Like to Die Accidentally: In a sample of 98 woolly mammoth remains, researchers found that 70 percent were male, which suggests males were more likely to die accidentally. Paleontologists say they’re not quite sure what conclusions can be drawn from this, but it sure explains why their insurance premiums were so high.