Trump Attacks CIA, Migrants, Judges and Hillary in Thanksgiving Call to Troops: During his Thanksgiving message to the troops, President Trump said he’s most grateful for the tremendous difference he’s made for the country - then went on to renounce recent CIA findings, threaten Mexico, criticize court decisions, attack Hillary Clinton over her emails, misstate facts about the economy and then float the possibility of shutting down the government. So, if I understand his message correctly, he’s basically grateful for himself. But I can honestly understand his frustration during Thanksgiving - after all, he’s been in office nearly two years, and he thinks it’s about time that he was given his own holiday.
Health Officials Concerned About Two Human Cases of Rat Hepatitis: Researchers say they are deeply concerned and surprised after finding a second patient in Hong Kong who has contracted a strain of hepatitis carried by rats, in what appears to be the first known human cases in the world. Well, it isn’t as if we haven’t been warned about this years ago. I can still hear the great Jimmy Cagney yelling “you dirty rats!” Ever vigilant, virologists around the world pledge to binge-watch all the old Jimmy Cagney movies over the weekend to see if they contain any advance warnings about other mammals who may cause additional health problems for humans.
NASA Officially Announces Landing Site for Mars 2020 Rover: NASA has finally revealed the site where it has decided to land its Mars Rover in 2020. Spoiler alert for all you Trump supporters out there - it’s gonna be on Mars. Meanwhile, I have two important questions - 1) will the first human baby born on Mars be legally entitled to call itself a Martian and 2) is pot gonna be legal on Mars?