Torch-Wielding Protesters Gather to Oppose Removal of Confederate Monument: A group of torch-wielding protestors, led by self-proclaimed white nationalist Richard Spencer, chanted slogans like “you will not replace us” while demonstrating against plans to remove a Confederate monument to Robert E. Lee in Charlottesville, Virginia. Attorney General Jeff Sessions says he just doesn’t understand what anyone would have against Gen. Lee, adding that you can probably even find some people who will be opposed to the new Dylann Roof statue we have planned for the White House lawn.
Safest Helmet Ever to Make NFL Debut Next Year: According to reports, twenty-five NFL teams have purchased the new ZERO1 helmet from the Seattle-based startup company Vicis, which offers multiple layers to slow impact forces and a soft outer shell designed to mitigate collisions from multiple directions. That said, critics say that even if you had equipped everyone in the entire country with one of these protective helmets, there’s still a pretty damn good chance that most everyone in the red states would have still voted for Trump this past November.
Bill Gates Calls the Mosquito Deadliest Creature on Earth: According to the Bill Gates Foundation, the deadliest creature on earth is not humans, but the mosquito which kills 725,000 people a year and incapacitates another 200 million people. And that may be just “scratching” the surface.