Cassie, Mandi, and Carol smiling at an unknown cameraman on Christmas.

There are times when we see ourselves more clearly in the photography, and times when the photos hide something that we all knew was there....a crooked tooth, a blemish, a skin tone that isn't really authentic.  Sometimes the photo takes on an abstract quality because of the pixelation, or the lack of quality of the original.  It questions the reality of appearances.  If I used photoshop, would we be more beautiful, more natural?  Is that the reality, or is this?

Does ir capture is a feeling, a small joy that the faces share?  Two of my three daughters, Cassandra and Amanda are here, hovering over me in this Christmas Eve picture from last year.  We have come through Cassie's graduation from the Hubert Humphrey School of Social Policy, Mandi's moving and changing jobs, and now changing jobs again. I have sadly lost my small Jack Russell companion, Chloe, and had my third daughter moving out to a new apartment, then not.  

This next year holds more challenges and more promise.  I am still deciding what to be when I grow up.  I turn 62 in a few weeks.  And still I wonder and explore my life, still reading and learning all I can, and knowing that somewhere I can make a difference in the world.  Maybe here, maybe another place.  But it will be with my words as well as my deeds. It now takes my energy and my focus to bring my purpose in the world to fruition.  

And maybe the prediction of Jose, the Maya shaman, the Keeper of Days, will come true and this year, this 2013 will be an incredible year of greatness for me.  We'll see.

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Comment by Joan H on January 2, 2013 at 6:28am
I love this picture. I hate having my picture taken. But I do it because I want the reminders of the joyful times. Who takes a photograph of miserable people? I want my daughter to remember me smiling...
Comment by tr ig on January 2, 2013 at 8:26am

Voting myself for incredible year of greatness. You and your girls are beautiful Carol. Love your words here.

Except, about Chloe, and so odd-- I copied a post yesterday from OS, March of 2009, to post here. Maybe you'll remember because you commented way back then (it was quite the conversation in comments). You spoke of your Jack Russell terrier very favorably. Sorry :(

Comment by Carol V Berg on January 2, 2013 at 8:55pm

Joan, This does feel joyful.  You're so right about your daughter needing pictures of you at every age.  We are so critical of ourselves...more than we need to be.  Celebrate!  

Trig, I'll look for your post....I love my little animals, especially Chloe.  I am so sad that she is gone.  It was just the two of us for so long...and now it's just me.  Maybe I'll get another little dog some time.  


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