...Thoughts ... on ... Ana ... Alysa' s best friend ...

Dear Alysa,

there were two posts that I was interested in.
The first one was about Ana, the second one about her funeral.

There is a lot I would like to talk to you about. I am not sure if I want to write on an open space like OS. I give it a start. You and your young family have been very lucky to have had her in your life. She must have been a real sunshine. She lived life to the fullest as if her inner clock and master told her to enjoy life as much and as intensive as possible because her time was limited . I often think about Mozart and others who died young.


I knew a young boy - a child still - who had had an incurable disease, something like m.s. His mother was an MD and there was hope that each day could bring the necessary treatment. I was befriended with his grandmother who had photos of him in her tiny apartment. On one of the photos, the boy looked like a ghost.
I talked to his grandmother about my impression. There was another photo of him which showed him among his siblings and cousins. His smile was radiant, infectious even if you could see that his death was near. He was not allowed to participate in sports.
As he got older, he asked his parents to be allowed to take the bike to school.The parents, reluctant at first, decided that he should have the fun of his life and all the freedom that went along with it.
One day, his mother was having a nap while waiting for him, she fell asleep.When she woke up, the boy (about 18) hadn't arrived yet.They found him stretched out on the grass, the bike beside him. He was dead.The school which he had attended was deeply shocked. He was celebrated as a very positive and loving person; his special illness and the expected short life span had turned him into a very special person. I think he was considered to be an angel.
This is my first part of a letter to you, and please let me know if you want me to continue writing on this page on OS.
I will come to an end here for today, (...)

Peace be with you and your family.




Dear Alysa,


it is hard not to get distracted by the news chasing each other.Thinking of your friend Ana, I would like to think of her visiting you and cradling your little boy.

Often I had been contemplating about the fairy tales and their messages, two in particular.

a)Aschenbrödel (Cinderella)

b)Brüderchen und Schwesterchen (Brother and Sister)

The colported messages are: Mothers don't die.They are always there for their children.

I have experienced death several times by now. What is more important here is the time before and after death occurs.

Ana - your friend jumped from one status to the next. She was full of life and enjoyed herself - and you - immensly. It had been the case with this boy I told you about yesterday.

If there is a purpose in life, one of them must be to spread love and joy.We are closely connected to the people with whom we have shared our life. Ana will be around for you to notice when you are ready for it.This requires your strength in dealing with ghosts, in dreams, in other people resembling her, in little gestures, comments, smells, flowers etc.

Within a aweek, 5 days exactly, prior to the death of my father, I have had a premonition of my father's condition.

I was pregnant and so sad; I thought I would not get over it. After a few days of the announcement, I had the impression to keep him alive within me.

To this day, I believe that it had been the driving force of the child growing within me.

Two weeks later, I was standing by the sink in the bathroom getting ready for bed. It was late and my husband was asleep.

Suddenly I knew someone was looking into the mirror with me, looking at me. I knew it was my father, but since I couldn't see him, I was scared and went to bed as fast as I could to be beside someone alive.

Ever since that time I knew that people decease but their soul lives on. With this knowledge, I celebrated life and that of my father whose soul had actually crossed the ocean to find me in an environment entirely new to him. And I celebrated the new life within me.

Not everyone has perceptions like these. It's not possible to even exchange these experiences with ordinary, I should say, with most people.

I don't know how much of this you can take. I'll send you a short note about this second letter and wait for your response.


J.W.von Goethe has written a memorable text on the soul's departure




Message to potential readers:

Please treat this post with care and respect,

as it is a letter of condolence to Alysa

who has lost her friend a year ago.

I would appreciate it if you could refrain from controversy.

Please keep in mind that losing someone dear takes a long time to heal.




Views: 92

Comment by Arthur James on February 6, 2015 at 6:56am


Condolences . . .


Various are the roads of life


Walter Savage Landor





Various the roads of life; in one

All terminate, one lonely way.

We go; and " Is She Gone? "

Is He Gone? 

Is all our best friends say.

Comment by Heidi Banerjee on February 6, 2015 at 7:10am

Right you are, James. It is as if time stopped for a moment. I will inform Alysa about your comment. Thank you.

Comment by Arthur James on February 6, 2015 at 7:21am


Grieving well is essential...

Then, once grief is complete a

fragrant alabaster box is open.

The Community are benefited.

Fire and Grief are like Incense

That can only Aspire and Ascend

If Lit. There are Alchemy Experiences.

Please Mention I Quietly Remember Her.

Comment by Heidi Banerjee on February 6, 2015 at 7:40am

I will, first I want to see if she is on Our Salon as well.TY James.

Comment by koshersalaami on February 6, 2015 at 7:57am
Good post

Why were you afraid of your father?
Comment by Arthur James on February 6, 2015 at 8:01am


My Granddaughter use to

Help me blog before ` our '


Art James - blog got deleted.

Annabella says ` Life is goof?

no. Good. and ` Lewis is 6-, and

Annabella is just ` 10 - going on

Forty? Growing up ` Too - rapidly

` , '

We talk...


People are dear.

True people endear.

Often, no word,

just a deep sigh.


Comment by Arthur James on February 6, 2015 at 8:06am



Mind went duh...

at 6- Life must be

approached cautiously.


At 'our' age Life is goog?

Embrace Life, and jest,

and Speak the perceived

Truth. as we see it IF we

aspire to be Pure in Heart

Emotion's Pure in Intent.


I at ` wifi ' and gonna leave.

Then ` pause ' and be calm.

It nice ` feeling ' composed.






Comment by Heidi Banerjee on February 6, 2015 at 10:57am

Kosher, it had been the first time in my life that I experienced anything like this. I was not afraid of my father but of his ghost. I knew he was there but I could not see him. That was creepy.

Much later, I have had a similar experience. A good friend died within a very short time from the diagnosis to the time of death. She had been in the hospital the whole time and at the end in a hospiz. At her request, her sister and I took care of her during her last days. She died in the evening, and her doctor suggested to keep her for a few days as summer heat would allow.

Night came and I was alone with her. I was not afraid of her body but afraid of the presence of death as demonstrated by the unresponding body, the absence of life and the changing of the features . Mainly I was afraid of the spirit which was within the room yet not visible. I had to close the door of the room in which her deathbed stood. I felt still uneasy but I could cope with it.

Thinking about it today, I find my behaviour peculiar because a spirit can't be locked away.

After she was taken into the funeral home, we remained in her place preparing for the funeral. My friend had been transferred from the main funeral home to the one of the the village where she had lived. I took my dog for a walk  near the cemetary. It was very dark that night. That's when I could very clearly feel her near the hall where the coffin of her had been placed. This has been a very peaceful experience and it was free of any fear. It is the moment of confrontation with death which shocks us, not the time of realisation that follows.In my father's case, I did not have a chance to see him before or after his parting. That must have been the shock when I felt him physically beside me.


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