They're Taking My Bed Away (OS Archive - 2010)

This was the sole entry in one of my mother's journal's, found among her things after she died in November 2002...

~ Winter, 1986 ~

They're taking my bed away today.

I should be glad, relieved. It is too big. 

I have those lovely old spool headboards for new twin beds. Much more practical. The room will be new and different with twin beds. Sensible decision -- but they are taking my bed away!

It was Our bed when we bought it.

New job, new city, new house, new bed.

Foam rubber, FIRM, king-size. 

In the beginning we couldn't get used to the size, felt lost. Slept close together in the middle -- spoon fashion! Many new experiences in the new bed. Like being on vacation in a hotel.

Then it became a gathering place -- a little person crawling in under the covers in the middle of the night -- bad dreams. A place for confidences or crowded with offspring and conversation.

Some nights that king-size bed was a mile wide -- a lonely place with only a turned back on the other side. But in our big old bed, apology and forgiveness was only a wiggle-over-and-snuggle away.

Usually, not always.

Then -- after a heart attack, the width was needed for quiet rest, but it was only an arm's reach away to feel the comforting rise and fall of a breathing, healing, chest.

And then that dark, bitter night when one side would be empty forever. Both sides were mine then. No more wiggling way over to the other side to get warm. The whole bed was cold.

The whole world was cold.

Sometimes a child would come creeping in the night -- for comforting, for giving comfort. And gradually, the bed became again a place of refuge, to get into early to read a good book, or to watch TV, or search the Scriptures for words of understanding.

Slowly, healing came. The house sold, those ties were cut -- and no one wanted the king-size bed. So it went to the new smaller place -- with just me this time -- new lifestyle, new things to cope with. No fights now, no cold back-turnings...no lovings either. Just hug a pillow and go to sleep -- or read half the night. But still that bed was home.

Eventually -- someone needed a bed, so, give the darned big thing away.

A king-sized bed with no king is no bargain. Good decision.

But in the middle of the night -- wide awake!

How can I give away my BED? It's like giving away my underwear, unwashed! It's like cutting the LAST tie. It's like getting ready to die -- giving away my effects. I must be crazy.

Right.

But isn't it sensible!

Wipe your tears, old girl. 

What do you want -- innerspring or foam? Twin bedspreads or coverlets?

A new page. Another new page. Well, the book's not finished.

Dear Lord, what's in store?

 

When this was written in 1986, my mother was 70 years old.

In 1996, at age 80 -- after 25 years alone -- she married an old friend from her girlhood.

They slept in a double bed. 

 

 

RATE: 41

NOVEMBER 28, 2010 12:06AM

Isn't it interesting how we can get to know someone better through the written words left behind? I am doing the same through my mother's poetry. And I must say I loved the post script you added about your mother finding happiness again at age 80. Wonderful!
Wow. This was poetry. The poetry of her life. And the book wasn't finished. This was wonderful. thank you for sharing it.
Wonderful insight into a married life, how it feels to lose someone you love, that you shared with. Thank you for giving us this look. Her writing was superb.
Your mom sure could write! Excellent and sad.

r
lschmoopie: It is interesting! The postscript was cool...she lived life fully right to the end.
trilogy: I thought it pretty cool as well, thanks...and you're welcome : )
Sheila: I loved how she traveled through the life of her bed -- and that she actually wrote about it!
Bonnie: Thanks : ) I've been missing her...
JD: Yes, she had her own style...she had many tough experiences, a teen in the Depression whose family lost the farm was only the beginning.

Good night guys, thanks for coming by, I'm off for hot tea and bed, nursing a sore throat. See you tomorrow : )
What a beautiful sharing...
My goodness, your mother was a talented writer!
That is a very sweet story.
JD took the words right out of my mouth! What a writer your mother was, JT. No wonder you are so good at it. Very touching and insightful piece.

Lezlie
Your mother's journal entry is almost a poem, it's so compressed, so full of images, and so full of feeling. I love the fact of your added footnote, too. That's terrific.
What a beautiful tribute and a beautiful woman. R~
I loved this very much. What spirit and heart your mom had. Thank you for sharing this with us.
It touches a universal nerve. Sleeping together. I love someone to sleep with and fight with and love with. I would miss it so much. To find it again at 80 is wonderful. My mom is 92 and alone. No more old men she says bitterly. sigh. She does still sleep in their bed tho. She tried to move to the guest bedroom after Dad died in their bed but she felt a jerk and thought it was him wanting her to go back to their old bed. So she did. I like my old 60 yr old man and our double bed.
So glad you shared this one. Thank you!
I can see where you come by such power. Wow I loved this. What becomes important? A beautiful idea....perhaps....:D
Wow, these words are beautiful and telling. I'd love to read more. Thanks for sharing this intimate slice of life.
Her fiesty personality shines right through! Parting with a bed is a sould stress because of all the memories.
Feisty...my spelling - gadzooks!
This is simply wonderful. Telling a life through a bed... 
I am really touched by this.~r
Wonderful, a record of so much love and sharing.
Your mother was a wise woman. I'm glad she lived a long and full life and left you these memories!
Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed this !!!!!!!!!
Rated with hugs
iq: glad to have you here, and that empty side of the bed brought me to tears when I first read this...she surprised us all, and herself I think, with that postscript!
Patrick, Grace, jay: Thanks! Mom was a good writer, glad you came by...
Lezlie: Only thanks to folks like you with your kind support have I even tried to write : ) It's so nice to hear Mom's 'voice' all these years later-- I think she wrote well also, captured so many phases of her life...
pilgrim: I so appreciate your words, I normally wouldn't air someone's journal but this was just a great story! and I think she'd be pleased, she loved attention : )
Thanks Dave, glad to have you here...I know my lengthy wordy posts lately have been frightening you off : ) 
rita: No surprise that you see her spirit through her words -- thanks for coming by...
zanelle: Isn't the thought of the cold empty side, too....??? I know it may come to all of us who love, but *sigh* 
I like that she actually wrote about it, the one entry! in this particular journal.
scupper: Thanks! and glad to see you here...
tg: You lovely man, I'm honored by your compliment....
This is amazing! I wonder if your mom has any hidden journals?
What a gem!
scarlett: This feels so special because it's the only personal entry, all of her other journals are filled with all the restaurants she ate at, with detailed descriptions of each meal, all over Europe when she finally fulfilled her dream of traveling... and eating. : ) I'd have loved to hear more as well...
Thanks Jon, Linnnn, Joan, l'heure ! ...and Linnnn, she WAS feisty.
scanner: I'm really glad she did too....
Thanks Linda!!
jane: It was a total trip to get a call from 80 year old Mom who's giggling about getting married : ) Glad you came by...
bigvoice: As you know me, if there's hidden journals of hers here, who knows when I'll find them? : )
Hope springs eternal... and it's good to know a bigger bed isn't a requirement. Mine is a QUEEN, like me.
Love is just larger than life... 
Great piece to share thank you very much for doing so
Rated
Thank you so much for posting this...just stunning...xox
Abby: Any ol' bed will do : )
"The whole bed was cold.

The whole world was cold."

What a volume contained in those two little sentences. This was so great! A entire life summarized. Beautiful!
Such a sweet poem, epic style about an epic adventure. 
Love will always win over bed size.
rated with love
@Abby: Hubby says my comment to you sounds funny : ) 'Any ol' bed-size will do..' does sound better....
mauricio: Love IS larger than life, thank you for that...
Thanks Robin! glad you came by...
Dr.S: That part got to me the most as well, nice to have you here.
Beautiful, thank you for sharing.
~R
The apple does not fall far from the ...bed. I bless your mother and her pillow. And pen.
"A king-size bed with no king isn't a bargain." How insightful a writing..I have never read anything so beautiful on OS> This is my favorite and soo chuck-full of love for mate and family..this was a gem..I am amazed!
I am just remembering this morning watching the first moon landing with our whole family piled on this bed....before the world went cold for awhile.
romantic: Thanks for coming by, and I too, love finding this: not only about my mother, but that she wrote so well...
Fusun: much appreciated...
Wow, that is a beautiful entry about a marital bed. Make me think of instead of "if these walls" - if this bed could speak what would it say? I used to have a "family bed" when the kids were young....wonder if it led to my divorce? Just kidding. Your mother's sharing is just fantastic and the postscript is priceless.
I was away from the computer yesterday, but this was well worth the wait. I wish I could have known your mother. This was wonderful. Thanks so much for posting it.
Just Thinking, really wanted to share that on my daughter's ride home from work she called and we were discussing YOUR MOTHER'S BED! It struck me how when we share we never really know how far the ripples will go out and who we will effect. She is a beautiful young bride of only a few years and felt the enormity and beauty in what was written. I also her warned to burn my journals because they are full, or be prepared for she what she reads. Thanks for a wonderful time sharing with my daughter!!
Your mother's words cut to the core of life and love and all the heart may hold. What treasure you share with us by letting us read her wisdom.
mhold: Thank you! You're very kind, I love it when you come by...
Cindy: What an incredible comment...she was one of a kind, I miss her -- she was definitely not the nurturing, bake cookies type of Mom...or Grandma.. though!
Lily-Dawn: Thanks for both of your comments! Glad to foster mother-daughter chats however they arrive : ) and thanks for the high compliment...I don't think I violated any privacy of Mom's here by posting this, I did think about that for a long time, but I think she'd be thrilled. She LOVED attention....and there were no secret, private type, journal entries of hers : ) I, on the other hand, had better burn my journals !
Each details touches the heart. I'm happy that what was in store was shared years of joy.
Just Thinking,

When someone leaves a comment on one of my blogs, as you just did, and I'm not familiar with that person, I try to check out their blog. And this is what I found when I checked yours.

This is so beautiful! Thanks for leading me here!

Jeanette
I bounced here through Scarlett's comment, and I'm awfully glad I did! Lovely and profound...
Your mother was a wonderful writer. I love the story of her life as presented through the intimate space of a bed. My grandmother was a poet and it fees like this special link to my heritage connected by words. Thank you for sharing.
This is absolutely lovely. What a wonderful gift your mother left for you. Thanks for sharing it.

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