Today I am learning to be real.
First, I awoke without making more noise than the bed does as I escape its embrace.
I breathed through my nose,
Tasting the aroma of everything I could percieve with my eyes closed.
Again, with my eyes closed,
I touched my face.
Carefully at first, then almost roughly; aggressively,
Enjoying the sensation of pressure on my hands and face.
I carefully listened to the sound of birds
While straining to hear the distant whine of a truck.
At the same time,
I watched the little specks
(Which I believe to be cells floating in the aqueous solution of my eyes,
Magnified into clarity by their very closeness)
Drift against the blue background of sky,
Darting in and out of perception
With every slight movement of my eyes.
I felt the difference of sun and sunset.
I lay in my car, listening to Classical music,
The sun heating me to a sweat, even with the windows open.
Then, as the sun went down, a chill became present
In the breeze that ruffed my shoestrings as my legs
Poked defiantly out of the window on the driver's side of the car.
A chill that became cool, then cold.
I rolled up the window and radiant heat
Suddenly made a small furnace of my left cheek.
That, too, passed away into the coolness of the night,
And the whole time, I waited for an Inspiration.
A gift from ---
And nothing happened, except that I learned
A little more about real.
Life is real.
I am an expression of life as we know it.
I am real.
Whatever abounds within my mind is real
To me only.
Whatever abounds without me and everyone else is real
But I have trouble describing how I interact to everything
When I have this problem, I learn something;
That there are times in my life when
So confused that I choose to become unrealistic,
The other way around.
I just slowly fade away from