The Way Christmas Once Was - A True Holiday Story: I don't often post personal items, but here's a photograph of me and my first wife Gethelda Jane from a Christmas way back when. As you may have guessed from the picture - Gethelda Jane was in a marching band. It didn't bring us in a lot of money, but it was enough to keep me in cough syrup - and that's all I ever asked of the woman.
As for the kids, well that's a rather sad story. They were happily playing outside in the yard, early one Sunday morning - when the hogs broke loose from their pen and ate 'em all up - both of 'em. Needless to say, our relationship with them hogs was never quite the same after that. Gethelda Jane became a vegetarian and me - well, I eventually became a window-tapper at a drive-in movie. But then again, that's quite another story.
Anyway, under the circumstances, Gethelda Jane and I decided not to butcher them hogs, but instead sold them to a neighbor, just down the road a piece, who turned them into a lovely Christmas ham. But enough about me - Merry Christmas (or whatever the hell you heathens may be celebrating) to all of you - my dear friends!