"I begin with an idea, but as I work, the picture takes over. Then there is the struggle between the idea I preconceived... and the picture that fights for its own life." -Georg Baselitz
the above is very true for me. always has been. painting is a struggle and over the last few months I have pretty much grappled with the craziness of what is determined to be painted. in the course of all this it occurred to me that I can't help but express my feelings about politics. because whether I like it or not, politics is life. and I have such a powerful sense of unease, not specifically because of the idiot but yes, largely because the idiot has colored and tainted so much of our beautiful country. he inspires hate and fear and adulation and idiocy. we will probably endure, but who knows?
it feels as if I'm creating chaos. if you don't look too closely, these might be considered pretty but they're not what they seem. there are few actual flowers in them. I start with flowers but that's not what I want to say. flowers are pretty...they can be metaphors for age and sexuality, not to mention nature, color, form.
but if you look closely, these are mostly just colors and suggestion and shadow and form. so I think of them as unstill lifes because I feel unstill and uneasy and they are unstill and unexpected and I've been trying to understand why I want to paint like this for months. I start with a picture of what I see but that's not what I want to say. yet, I'm drawn to these flowers - maybe as a start. I only just figured how to get out of the way and let a painting happen but nevertheless I can't help my desire to define and make something sure. but sureness doesn't satisfy me. what is sure? if you look closely, what's there is not pretty or defined.
well the nyc bridge painting is pretty I think, but it's hard to see it. I keep trying to take a picture at the wrong time of day, only I can't figure what is the right time of the day because my finish is very high gloss and reflects the light. still, my husband is happy because the guy is tall. so it's us. of course, it's not, but I get a kick out of the romantic aspect of it. and I love him enough that I have worked on this painting for months - taking it from a day painting to a night painting - just to create something that pleases only him. me, too.