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Is happening, right now.  Has been decided, but I just don't know.  There's the elections, the protesting going on where I grew up, and then my oldest son. 

I've typed and deleted, and typed and deleted, typed and deleted every morning now, for the last 4 months.  Here, there, everywhere.  It's out there.  An hour every morning, to where I almost feel like I could do this as a 'job'. It's damn sure not 'art'. 

***

Here it is, a week later and not one thing of those three listed above has turned out the way I thought it would, and prepared for. I saw the signs, but ignored them.  I can't help but wonder, what else am I missing? 

I look towards the internet for a bit of guidance, it's never failed me before, right?  ha!  

Actually, I take that back. I've 'met' some very good and kind and interesting people online, a meeting of the minds, and for that I'm thankful.  Also, it rained during the night. Not enough to put out any fires, but at least it settled the dust a bit here in town. 

Still reading along, and peeking thru the windows..

 

Views: 1625

Comment by Carole Dixon on December 30, 2016 at 8:25am

I haven't walked the dog yet, but I'm half way thru my cup of coffee. My hubs (hahahaha) and I may have finally rounded the curve and may be regrouping after our disastrous fall. It was hard work, pulling us back into a semblance of being of one mind. But, after an intense day a couple of days ago where I confronted him with being deep into a PTSD episode, we turned a corner. I think he needed to know I still care. I don't know. Couple scientist, I am not. 

The point being was that yesterday, we began veering back off course, disagreeing vehemently over something of no consequence. I was making turkey tail mushroom tea, cutting the leathery little turkey tails into small pieces to boil for at least 20 minutes. I didn't want the disagreement to go into the medicine, so I took a page from Anna's book, got out my sage and lit it in a bowl. "What's that burning?" 

"Sage, want me to smudge you?" And then he came in there. I looked him in the eyes and said, "I see you". I smudged him, tapping his feet with my foot, like JT did to me. Then he smudged me, tapping my feet too. And after that, the air was clear again. The teenager said, "what is that terrible smell? I hate it."

we drove around and around as teenagers too. Drinking beer, smoking cigarettes and smoking weed. The seventies. What was weird was the route we drove each night ended up being to an area where the land and timber office where I later worked forr a couple of years and then made my home for 25 years. My path took me there over and over until finally I jumped orbits and landed in sw Oregon. But I haven't seen the northern lights. It sounds like a holy experience.

i read some horoscope thing on Facebook that said some thing terrible and major would happen in the next couple of days. Now we know that my daddy told me horoscopes were a scam and each one would fit anybody, one size fits all. Therefore, I've only read them sometimes and study them every once in awhile. But it intriqued me, this dire warning. Because here we are now, in the window of this most dire thing. Let's see if there is bit of credence to this warning.

and I saw Grandma Aggie last night on TV. Awesome mouth tattoo. 

Comment by Julie Johnson on December 30, 2016 at 8:30am

***

That's the sort of thing, I've been told not to 'brag' about.  That I've seen things, that other people haven't.  I figure if somebody asks, or mentions whatever it's okay.  Just to say, you've done it would be 'bragging', but to tell it in an interesting way, to entertain?  That would be okay, so what's the problem?  That would be me, talking to my dad in years past.  Even now, in my head. 

I read you all's stories over there on tr igs thread, and it was fun to read along.  you didn't know it, but I was there...

My dad used to take me for rides in his helicopter, and then the small engine planes with my little brother, going from farm to farm on those gravel runways in the fields?  He would swoop down and zoom around, just to have fun.  I loved it!  Until my little brother threw up his orange sherbert and cheese burger that we had just consumed before take off.  We didn't swoop around too much after that.  My brother never flew on a full stomache after that either.  Flood season, when he had to get his hours in, we'd fly over the Dakotas just to see what was going on.  Always, an Easter ride.  When we'd bivouac those 2 weeks during the summer, we'd haul the camper and stay at a KOA camp, with a swimming pool.   Once I got a step mom, I could bring a girlfriend.  We'd lay out at the pool and get 'dark as Indians', oil our skin and put our hair in braids.  Lots of turquoise.  We couldn't get in too much trouble though, because every body had seen the captain get picked up in the chopper, just a few yards away.  Me and my girlfriends, and now that I think about it, probably my step mom too (she was a lieutenant) We felt like we were 'rock stars' back then...

Comment by Carole Dixon on December 30, 2016 at 9:33am

I read the grandma Aggie link. I was watching the Salmon Ceremony on PBS when I saw her.

my dad learned to fly in WWII. He was going to be a glider pilot, but they canceled the gliders before the end of the war so he never made it overseas. I went up once with him in a small plane. I had to keep my seatbelt on, so I couldn't see out (I must have been small). Not seeing really distressed me. Mostly I sailed with him, his great love, riding the wind, exactly what the glider pilots did.

i was there too, on Open. I was PoetTess and I was there in 2008. -2010 or so, then I came back before they closed shop, then here. I want to change my name to Tess here and maybe start posting again. I think I'm ready to put a layer between my name and my writing. I've been told the government is getting ready to take names and kick the ass of any dissenters and resisters. Why make it simple for them. Of course, I want to find my old stuff online - good luck - but I hear they have their ways.

Comment by Anna Herrington on December 30, 2016 at 9:54am

...not bragging, to me...

http://www.agnesbakerpilgrim.org/Page.asp?PID=89

She talks a lot about 'taking the 18" journey, from the mind to the heart, and to live and see and experience others through the heart.'  That is the saving grace sweet spot for life and our planet.

She has no idea, but she changed my life, with her presence and her words...

I'm not usually pulling out smudge sticks when someone comes over for tea, btw, but it seemed like a good idea for you, Carole. Hope it helped. ... 

New year, new world, or something like that. We can only try to keep the balance, our balance. Tricky - at the best of times, for me, at least.

Happy New Year's early to you ~ lots to do over here, was hoping to do a photo post of the year, but ... we'll see. The son who went back to the city  three days ago suddenly knocked on the front door again yesterday. Apparently the better New Year's Eve party is up in Portland, not down in SF.

ha! So much like the old wanderer me, spontaneously hopping cities, spending hard earned cash, just be at the right 'scene.'  

He's so not frivolous, the accountant son.... any of my sons.... that I just laughed that he was letting loose a little.

Okay, off for now. 

although ...tr ig's thread? will go look...

Comment by tr ig on December 30, 2016 at 10:19am

We are reaching a pivot point at tr ig's thread. Far past pivot here! 

Well I haven't dropped in for coffee in a few, so I caught up, then went and pressed me a cup and now I'm back.

Smudging .. I believe in that, and love sage .. the smell, the feel it brings. Reminds me, I need to replenish my smudge stock. 

The Salmon Ceremony? Who knew .. 

Julie I wasn't aware until my one post where I said Hello from Fargo, that you were indeed once a resident of that high plains Mecca of enlightenment. What grabbed me here today though, the riding around on gravel roads, drinking beer, smoking .. cigs and reefer, laughing it up, enjoying some new found freedom. Almost makes me want to write a blog you know. Maybe that would be a good open call, except I think, some people didn't have gravel roads, the megalopolis kids.

Flying ... I have very pleasant dreams of flying. Sometimes I'm the pilot of an aircraft--sometimes a small craft, sometimes a jumbo ass jet, usually flying low trying to avoid power lines and such, then off to some incredible place, and I'm the freaking captain. Then there's the "gliding" dreams, no craft required, not flying but gliding, effortlessly in defiance of gravity. Like I can approach a long set of stairs, in my dream, and rather than walking them down, I glide them, never touching a single step. Other times it's out in a nature scene like a glade or meadow, and simply by intending it I can levitate and even rise to scary high levels. Those are sublime dreams .. sigh. I mentioned Castaneda in my post .. don Juan taught him special dreaming, sorcerer's dreaming, where one can summon volition, changing a normal dream into something magical where we can live much as we live in "the real world" but have access to all the mysteries and power of the universe. This starts, the first exercise for dreaming, by training yourself to search for your hands in your dream i.e. realizing that you are in a dream, but commanding intent. I know this is possible for I have done it. No kidding. Trying to get back to that now, in my latter years .. now that life's drama has receded, giving me space and time to rediscover the forgotten mysteries and untapped power that each of us has direct access to, if only we tried.

Comment by Anna Herrington on December 30, 2016 at 10:41am

" Trying to get back to that now, in my latter years .. now that life's drama has receded, giving me space and time to rediscover the forgotten mysteries and untapped power that each of us has direct access to, if only we tried."

Yes. I've been feeling this, too.

You have better words about it this morning, though.... nice!

Comment by Anna Herrington on December 30, 2016 at 10:48am

ps - I added that link about Agnes because it is really about who she is and her message for us all.

 ("I was still arguing with my Creator."  ...boy does that resonate.)

Comment by Julie Johnson on December 31, 2016 at 11:20pm

***

After midnight...I haven't seen you all since last year!  I'm drinking a cup of coffee and eating Baklova.  Bought it in a box, but it's pretty good.  Comment section is down, so we're way way way on the back page now.  Everybody here at my house, has gone back to their separate machines after counting it down together, out in the living room on the television set.  What's that?  What sort of 'secrets' should we share now, down at the corner of the Piggly Wiggly, behind the magazine section? 

Here's one I found on the internet awhile back, the 12th street bridge in Fargo.  Not too far from the old High School, which thank goodness I just checked does not have my year online yet.  I better prepare though.  Get my stories straight. 

Comment by Julie Johnson on December 31, 2016 at 11:25pm

That was one scary bridge, still dream about it.  clackity clackity clack.  They tore it down, years ago. 

Anyway...

Happy New Year!  See you soon!

Comment by Carole Dixon on January 1, 2017 at 4:00pm

Happy New Year's to Julie and the rest of the coffee (and tea Club, seen and unseen). may we all help make this world a batter place, one peace filled breath at a time.

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