I last wrote about a crazy dream, and its aftermath in my adult life.

Then things got a little crazier.

On Halloween night, 25 hours or so after I posted that last post (although it is listed as October 29th), I saw a meteor streaking across the sky -- not high in the atmosphere, but low, across our backyard. I was looking out of the bedroom window, amazed, when it fizzled and the fiery trail ended in mid-air, ten feet or so above the ground at the edge of our yard.

I didn't find any space rocks the next morning, but I looked.

Also that next morning, another meteoric trail. My post! The views were skyrocketing, to heights previously unheard of with any other post I've written. As a matter of fact, put all the views together of every post I've written in the past year and a half, and the grand total would be miniscule compared to the numbers of views on this one post, on this one week, er.. 9 days now, since I wrote it.

Middle Son congratulated me when I had 40,000 views and the post was sitting on top of The Most Viewed list. He made sure I understood that "...those are just views, Mom. Maybe no one is actually reading all those words."  Youngest piped up with, "It's probably not your writing really, it's that scary dream." A fellow Open Salon writer posted a logarithm of nonsense on why the Top Views are top views, a funny compilation that made me laugh out loud, even while I wondered if that was a reflection of how little my writing was worth, furthering my disconnect that something I actually wrote (*I wrote! *) was successful.

And what does successful mean for me, viral post views aside? I'd say at this point, success lies in the visceral sensing that I put my words together well enough to give moments justice, or in the comments and feedback from readers and from family and friends. I love that feeling of contentment with completion when I've fiddled with phrasings as much as I can bear, then possibly hearing from others who've connected in some way to my, so far, glimpses of life I've shared here.  Other family members feel my success in writing will come when there are checks arriving in the mail, or I at least get the Tippem sign up. 

When the numbers passed 100,000, then later, when my post had 100,000 views all in one day, I got nervous.

"Why am I nervous?" I wondered.

"Well, I'm not really a writer," I answered myself, "and regardless, this is a fluke."

My next thought was, "Well, I'd better celebrate, especially if this is a fluke."

So I danced. 

No one home, none of our three sons, so no snickers...safe to dance.

When the views exceeded 200,000 -- the views on one post!! -- as they did a couple of days ago, I stopped and bought a cake, a chocolate cake, from the local bakery I've walked by and never entered before. I thought I'd celebrate with my family that night.

I also stopped for beer for Husband and ginger ale for me. I slowed down by the bottles of sake, I love sake, but sheesh. Best not. I know how Sake Girl gets. Then I bought myself flowers. I was ready to celebrate all this... More. 

You see, somewhere along the line, writing has become something more. More than Mom's endless ponderings. More than hobby. More than scribbles. Something else. Even better, I've become More. (I sound like the Whos down in Who-ville...no, The Grinch, smiling a bemused smile while my heart bursts its seams).

I've earned or been given many titles in life so far, but Writer has not been one of them. The paradox of this last post that keeps surging with new batches of attention is that I have come to know that I love to write, no matter what, and that I will write:  no views, one view, or over ...now 370,000+ views and counting....views that may or may not mean someone is actually reading, I keep reminding myself.

With celebratory supplies in hand, I drove home that evening a couple of days ago.... and entered a dark house. Youngest had left a note, he was spending the night away. Middle Son was working, Oldest now has a family of his own. Husband was unexpectedly working late.  

I stood there for a moment, unsure.

I always celebrate with my guys...

I could wait.... 

But the celebrating couldn't.

I opened a ginger ale -- the fancy kind, made in small batches, stuffed with spicy ginger taste, and poured a champagne glass full. Then I pulled a plate out of the cupboard, a sharp knife from the drawer, and cut myself a fat slice of cake....just one slice, just for me. Some fine sounding music was put on, just my taste in music, all mine (that is a rarity around here). Then I started dancing again, but not the dance of the Mother I am. Not the dance of the Lover I am, either. Not Wife, nor Worker, nor House Keeper. None of those titles I have loved for ages and still do. Not Artist, nor Researcher, nor Childcare Provider, certainly Fashion Maven has long gone...not even Entrepreneur.

This dance was new. 

I felt new, all alone in my house. When was I last alone in my house in the evening? No children needing me, no dinner needing to be made, no Husband to chat with, no phones to answer, no needs to attend to at all.

Just me, dancing.

A new Me.

The Writer. 


Wanna' piece of cake? 

RATE: 32

NOVEMBER 9, 2011 4:02PM

Congrats, by the way , I knew you were one, when I read the story about the shoes. :) r
I love it ~ the new you !

( But we knew you when, Just Thinking ... )

Has anyone suggested the possibility that the word "Twilight" itself may be viral ? Not to detract from a beautifully written post about the dream, of course, or my own personal shade of green here ... ;-)
Cheers to you the writer - and there is nothing more lovely than your own celebration - i love that happy dance I do when it's just me and dog at home.
Thanks, hugs...back when with the shoes?? Wow. I will take that huge compliment to heart.

Kim: Of course! I knew something crazy was going on...still going on. I wondered why "The Twilight Zone" was so popular still...
Middle Son clued me in on the words that get attention soon after he let me know "no one would read all those words online, Mom. You don't even have a pictures..."
Full disclosure: I had changed my title from "There Goes the I Was a Princess in a Past Life theory" before I got one comment....
but what you're saying makes the most sense. I KNEW it wasn't me. 
: )
and it couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. p.s. "Don't forget your old ship mates."
You called my Algorithmic Genius "NONSENSE"? 
Wanna step outside???

-This, btw, is great writing. r.
LammChops: Thanks! Cheers ! The celebration did end up having nothing to do with anything other than re-finding myself for an evening...and it was me and the dog! ....and two cats... : )

Sarah: You and I found each other right when we got here to OS, I think... 
Glad to see you! : )
As Kim made clear, I did not catch on to "Twilight" as a catch word (no daughters?? Not into vampires??).....and I'd delete the whole post except it's more about finding myself happy to call myself a Writer for the first time.

Thanks, Jon ~ I love it when you come by...and I rarely offer you an interesting debate! I'll have to work on that : )
...back to the Worker title....
The wonderful thing is that 200+ thousand people came to OS & I bet most of them read you, pictures or not, & likely a lot of them will come back ! 
I'm still waiting for 3'x4' English Galleon Out Of Popsicle Sticks With Photo, At Twilight :-)
That's very nice, JT. People can praise, but if you don't feel it within, you will never be satisfied. The most important and satisfying thing is to feel validation on your own, as now you do. I'd love a piece of cake with you, but you better share the rest with your boys. :o) This is a very nice, introspective piece.
"Just me, dancing." 
Smiling here for you, JT ...
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Yes, I want a big piece too!!!! So awesome.
Congratulations sweet one.. Wish I could have cake..:)
cheers! I'll take a slice, thank you. Great stuff!
I love this: "I have come to know that I love to write, no matter what, and that I will write: no views, one view, or over 260,000 views and counting...." and: "Just me, dancing. A new Me. The Writer." 

You love it and you do it very well - that's a blessing. I too love to write, and to sing for that matter, and the fact that I can't do either very well doesn't keep me from trying. I'll take a piece of that cake if there's any left...
Congratulations, but you know, you are a writer no matter what - views or no views. Think of Emily Dickinson - most of her poems went unseen by anyone until after her death, but man is she a writer! 

The way you write here and in your other posts is the truest proof of your talent.

Even so, congratulations again!!!!
Oh boy do I wanna piece of cake!!!! 
And some of that nice fancy ginger ale too! 
'Cos I'm a-celebratin' with you!!!!

Over 200,000 views! Wow!!!
JT, Writer Extraordinaire!!!
Go get 'em girl!

Well done and so well deserved. I am smiling big for you, dear friend!
love the idea of a new dance called "The Writer". I hope to learn the steps someday.
How fun is this? Happy to share in the grins, Ms. Thinking.
hell yes! :D that is awesome
I love ginger ale. I love chocolate cake. And I love this piece and no, the celebrating couldn't wait. You earned your title many posts ago.
I've had one or two do that, and I'm amazed, because the next day I hardly any views. I can't figure out, if it's a Ghost in the Machine, or are people really reading it. But, I still love it, regardless.
Well how crappy of me to get back to the party so late....it's tough when reports are due and we all share one desktop! "I want to check for comments" just doesn't carry much weight then.

Kim, well I appreciate that all these views are coming to OS...more to share!
Maybe we ought to fill the feed with posts that all have Twilight in the title and tags all on the same day and see what happens! 
(Middle Son doesn't agree with the Twilight word theory, but Youngest agrees with the 'Twilight word being viral' explanation. Husband says it's rabid Eastern State Prison fans, while I think the post has been kidnapped by feuding "past life/one life" groups : ))

The trouble with living in a less-than-half remodeled house without proper storage cupboards is I never seem to be able to find anything....like popsicle ship photos, or any photos for that matter.
I will though! 

Thanks, Fusun! I like your new avatar ~ Nice to see you : ) Plenty of cake to share! That is the beauty of virtual cake, the chocolate one having been devoured...

Thank you anna1liese. I like to hear you are smiling also : )

Yay!! Sheila!!! Completely strange, but I'm not complaining : )
Big slice here for you. Mango sherbet or chocolate mint ice cream to accompany??
Linda: A gluten-free, magically delicious one here just for you!
So nice to have you come by : ) Your hugs make my day.
(And I just found your Grand Canyon photos for you!! How did I manage to put them in such a strange place?)

Thanks, Oryoki! There is a fat slice ready here just for you. Thanks for coming by!

Thank you, nana, that means a lot. You know how to write well....and with your photos alongside you're a master! 
It's best we just go for it regardless, isn't it? At least there will be a story to tell for our efforts. : )

Don: Maybe so... 
It's not your or my fabulous writing??? 
You're right there too : )
It's making an interesting discussion around my house and in emails from friends, certainly.

Alysa! What a wonderful compliment, thank you so much! You are nuts, of course. 
Emily Dickinson. 
Although, "I dwell in possibility..." : )
I love this! Stumble is so random for me. Some take off (never like yours) and most don't!
You are a great writer!
11/11/11 @ 11 am back in Chicago....

378,969, views. Holy cow. 

A big surge last night, thought it was tucked into the OS -pile of writing- bed before that...
Too funny. 
Well, another cake??
Susie: Thanks for the compliment!
Would I just be on Stumble? Do you have to put yourself on Stumble? I've never used it, but our sons find interesting stuff there...
I don't know what's going on, but it's fun! 
And I had the excuse to buy a cake...a rare, very rare occasion as no one likes a birthday cake around here. Birthdays we go out to eat and skip the sweets. 
I guess cakes are the viral views occasion...might've been the last cake I ever buy : )
...the Mango Sherbet was even better..
I like your new avatar, Susie, wild shock of color! Gorgeous neck.
You are always a delight, enjoyed this and you. Lovely piece!
Macco: I live with all guys. My natural joie de vivre expressions were suppressed years ago with these guys, they make so much fun-- 
But I will think on this, as, joie de vivre expressions are so fun to do!
: ) 
Thanks for coming by...and by the way, your ability to time travel by avatar is amazing !
Oh, I skipped a few! Sorry, I'll be back -- thanks for coming by!

Cake, ginger ale, beer and mango sherbet are all on the counter...
Feel free to dance!
Holy frijoles! That's a lot of views. You can go on celebrating for a week, J.T. Woo-hoo!

I was so hoping to know how you were doing with so many views, so many people enjoying your writing (and actually reading, not just viewing, thank you very much, Middle Son!). Thank you for writing about it!
I'm a few days late to the party - but cheers!
Congratulations! Fabulous writer that you are, I can't believe you never did it before and yes, I want a piece of cake. :)
Fantastic, congratulations! You deserve it, well done.
I have a small sense of what you felt, based on my brief but shining moment on the "Most Viewed" list. Nothing chocolate cake worthy, but still addictive to watch the View count go up! I enjoyed the Twilight Zone post, as well as this one. Congratulations - you deserve it! (And thank you for your comment on Raising Boys -it was one of my very favorites!)
"I'd say at this point, success lies in the visceral sensing that I put my words together well enough to give moments justice, "

Exactly! So well put it hurts.
How cool was this. Did you ever find out why it got so many hits. Is there way to know. Once an old post was getting some hits a year after posting and I saw it was linking to some obscure message board. Still thrilling. 

This was brilliant. You are a writer. That is a fact. Sake girl sounds like a lot of fun(and like a name for a sake brand.)
Thanks for coming by, Fernsy ~ re-reading this post so much later I realize this post is what OS has meant to me, not the skyrocketing post views, but this burgeoning sense of Me. 
The Writer.
I hadn't read this again since, I'm glad you brought me back here : )
My "cosmos" are putting interesting things in my path today. I happened to find your commenting on this at the bottom of the feed, about to drop off, and since I like to read your comments I followed it over. And am I glad that I did.

Celebrating a new you is a wonderful thing. I feel like I'm shedding a really dense chrysalis and this gives me hope. Either way, whether I see it right away or not, my new me is going to show up.
PS Ferns: Sake Girl is just plain trouble.
Mornin' Phyllis : )
Glad you found this too -- as I said to Fernsy, this post does feel like what OS has meant to me, as this is where I started writing.
I like what you say about your chrysalis and a new you arriving -- I am convinced writing helps facilitate these changes. We're all in it together here, or there, or wherever...
This was great. I hope you're still dancing because you're certainly still a writer.
Thanks, jl -- I do still feel like a writer! The meteoric travels of that viral post were fun to experience, but it's the writing itself that I've found a passion for -- I hope you feel similarly about your writing : )


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