Summary of the amusement
Stevenson Garden Products teleoperator Clarity Nice elicits assistance from her friend Cynthia Stevenson during the company's clothing optional day on a Friday, in order to build an outdoor shower on company lawn that will provide a clothing optional amenity for company workers. Infringing human resources policy, clashing against Malibu police Officer Packwood, who prohibits use of the shower, and dodging Packwood's nephew, the clueless Contra Costa County Sheriff police academy recent graduate Avery Packwood, Clarity insists on showing her value as a Stevenson employee, in particular to Cynthia's dad, the owner of the company, Bill Stevenson. Bypassing a dubious lawsuit from the mayor's son, the good-for-nothing Atkins Rubens, getting the support she needs from Cynthia's stepmom Jill Stevenson, Clarity purchases a shower patent for Stevenson from potential competitor Bormbayle, using unauthorized company funds, in order to lift poor company sales, involving Cynthia as lawyer.
Clarity saw Mr. Stevenson making his way past the trade show crowd, until he reached the booth of Stevenson bathroom accessories. Slightly surprised of seeing his name written with a marker, and a new division of his company popping out of the blue, he confronted Clarity right away.
"Clarity, is any of this your doing?" Cynthia nodded, knowing that she had helped Clarity to the limit of her goodwill.
"Yes sir," said Clarity, "I took initiative and this is the result, just closed our first sale of the new shower unit." Clarity waved at Taimi, who was still showering naked, hinting that it was time to stop the shower and get dressed. Seeing Mr. Stevenson, Taimi turned off the side jets and stepped out of the shower, using the back side of the booth. Stevenson legal counsel Lareya Marquez stepped forward and began checking all the paperwork which Mr. Bormbayle had given Cynthia and Clarity, regarding the transfer of intellectual property of the shower design.
"Technically, Clarity cannot sign any agreement on behalf of Stevenson, but Cynthia does have the power of attorney granted by the general activity committee, in case anything happened to Mr. Stevenson over the course of regular business."
Brock began arguing that there was probably a way to cancel the transaction, but Mr. Stevenson began speaking with Mr. Liew, who was praising the Kauai Bianca design. Clarity showed Mr. Stevenson the sales slip. He gazed at the one point five million dollar figure and turned to Lareya Marquez.
"This is ours?" asked Mr. Stevenson, pointing at the side jet shower stall. Lareya Marquez flipped through the blueprints of the design, which included all patents previously owned by Bormbayle.
"Yes, everything's all good, even the amount covering payment in exchange for the right of use of the design has been carried out."
Lareya glanced at Clarity. "Hmmm, a payment slightly out of procedure, but yes, payment has been sent out, Bormbayle sold their design, which is now part of Stevenson's balance sheet, their interest is settled, they do not own the patents nor do they have any right of use of that shower design."
Reassured by the comment of his company's legal counsel, Mr. Stevenson took the sales slip describing the order for one hundred showers, and invited Lamond Liew to a lunch. Before heading for the restaurant, he turned to Clarity and pulled her aside a few seconds. He didn't look angry, just somewhat astonished by the turn of events.
"You did all right, but believe me, you were one inch away from getting fired. We'll talk about this when we get back to Malibu."
Flake drove the rental truck back to Malibu, although he had no license to drive trucks. Over the following days, Mr. Stevenson made some changes to the product line of Stevenson, adding a shower and accessories unit. He scrambled negotiations with several shower manufacturing companies to outsource manufacturing of the shower ordered by Lamond Liew, based on the design acquired by Clarity, in order to have one hundred of these showers delivered to Singapore over the following months. Taking into account all costs, including manufacturing and the purchase of the shower design intellectual property, the Vegas trade show sale was contributing more or less one million dollars to Stevenson's figures, all of it coming from one sale. Clarity began taking calls for the new shower unit as teleoperator, and noticed that people were interested in the shower, after hearing of its success at the trade show. A few days later, Brock called her on the phone from his office.
"Mr. Stevenson wants to see you in the conference room," he said. Clarity walked with Brock to the conference room and sat down in one of the corners, watching Lareya Marquez, Heather and Patrick, the accountant. Mr. Stevenson began by giving the new company figures which included the shower sale, praising the good team work at the company, and then moved on to the issue that Heather was bringing out into the open. Brock's assistant handed out to Mr. Stevenson a thick thirty page report which she had written on the issue of Clarity's standing in the company. She took a bottle of water in a neighboring table, and sat down opposite Clarity. To her, Clarity had to be fired, because she had repeatedly used company funds in order to carry out her own decisions regarding activities which affected the whole company, including all of their employees. Brock was backing her, because it was obvious that Clarity was not paying attention to company procedures, and he was in charge of that. Not backing Heather, meant his hobby trading stocks was in jeopardy as hobby. In other words, his posh, cushy job was at stake. The only person lukewarmly backing Clarity was Patrick, the accountant, who observed that the bottom line of Stevenson was seeing a lateral change for that quarter, in accounting terms, from loss, to profit.
"Well, a company is measured by how well it uses its funds," said Mr. Stevenson, "not only by the way it gets access to them. There are various sources of funds for a company, access to new partners who bring equity, or issuing debt to markets when you're big enough, which is not the case, or taking out a bank loan. All of these differ in the way the company has to pay back the money offered, and they differ also in the return asked by those providing the money. By accessing maturing commercial paper, Clarity simply chose to access an official source of funds of Stevenson, not much different from traditional sources of financing, in fact she used cash."
Brock raised his hand, unsure of where the owner was going.
"What is the point you're making sir, access to those funds is illegitimate according to our interal rules, Clarity violated those rules." Mr Stevenson walked behind Clarity and stepped towards Brock.
"The point is that a company is judged by how well it uses its funds, not only where the funds come from, and Clarity made a good use of company funds by purchasing this shower design. She turned around and made an important sale right off the purchase of the new asset, a sale which provides a healthy change in the bottom line for the company, from loss to profit. That, in my view, is commendable, and to me, is the reason, maybe the only reason, not withstanding the fact that Clarity has been a good teleoperator here since she joined the company, for not firing her. Clarity will stay here, I still need to understand how exactly she thought of all of this, but she is a valuable employee." He added, "just like my daughter really, she didn't do too badly either."
"Sir, can I work in another department or get a promotion?" asked Clarity.
"No, you're simply not getting fired, sending out half a million dollars to another company without anyone's approval or authorization, is enough to fire any employee in any other company. I'm simply giving you credit for the sale you made and the initiative you showed. I'll also give you some time during working hours, to learn about marketing if you'd like to do that."
The phone rang for Mr. Stevenson. Judge Cambery was summoning everyone involved in the 'Atkins complaint' case for another court round of depositions, after having considered some of the evidence presented by Lareya Marquez, arguing non-harm from the naked photographs of Taimi and Clarity.
The next day, a slew of employees from Stevenson attended the courtroom, including Clarity, Taimi, Mr. Stevenson, Brock, Heather, the mayor of Malibu, officer Packwood, and his nephew. Clarity noticed Atkins seating in the front row. Although official instructions recommended to turn off smartphones, she saw Taimi sending out a message to Atkins with several attachments. The smartphone of the mayor's son blipped shortly after, and Judge Cambery signaled for attention hitting a wood base with his gavel.
"May I remind the audience that no cell phones or smartphones are allowed inside the courtroom." Judge Cambery called on Atkins to express his view of the case, calling him to the plaintiff's chair. The mayor's son looked at his father and at Packwood, at Heather, and finally at Taimi, and began speaking.
"I've decided to drop this complaint and waive any request for damages," said Atkins, "it is the business of Stevenson Garden Products to be a clothing optional company if they want to. If the employees have agreed to this policy, there's nothing wrong with it, including sending out a few photos of employees naked."
He glanced at Taimi, who kept her poker face. Clarity looked at Heather, who looked away from her. Judge Cambery settled the case, saying that no moral or emotional damage had been done to the plaintiff by sending the photos showing the bums of two adults. The whole case was closed, and Clarity noticed that officer Packwood was not happy, mumbling to his nephew Avery a few words about the useless justice system. As she left the courtroom, Clarity tapped on the shoulder of Taimi.
"What did you send Atkins?"
"A couple of photos of me naked outside the shower, from the trade show in Vegas. Told him he can come over to the roof top pool for a naked swim on the weekends, from now on, when no one is around, if he dropped the complaint."
Clarity breathed with relief, finally the complaint was settled, things were beginning to calm down. She saw Packwood approaching Flake, while the Stevenson gardner was counting his gas vouchers.
"Next time, I'll ensure your driving license is revoked, I heard about you driving the load truck without an appropriate license, no one ignores the law." Flake had an answer, in times of turbulence, he probably was at his nonchalant best.
"Sometimes, what you have to do to keep things going, has nothing to do with what everyone else wants you to do, or thinks that you have to do. I just might get a license now to drive a truck, though, just to bug you." Packwood walked away, fuming.
The following day, Mr. Stevenson recommended to Clarity that she take a few days off, arguing that she might benefit from a short vacation. That same day, Brock sent out a memo, announcing that Heather was leaving the company, to work at Herbaline, the weight management and nutrition company, famous for their unorthodox marketing procedures.
Clarity inquired about the company on her own, looking up some information on the internet, reading various opinions in social networks, which flared controversy. She stumbled upon an intriguing fact: Herbaline were the original makers of a beauty lotion, later sold to an outfit called Hexas Style Beauty Products, which Clarity recognized. Elony, the lotion scam sold by British expatriate Cassandra Scafarel in the Bahamas, came from Herbaline. Picking up the phone to talk to her friend Lanai, she began to shape an idea in her mind, making a visit to the fancy Herbaline building in Orange County.
END OF AMUSEMENT, THE OUTDOOR SHOWER
Or how a shower can bring good weather to the bottom line.
All characters over 21
I hope you enjoyed this amusement, I enjoyed writing it, it brings Clarity back to Malibu, her home. And it brings Packwood again
to opposing anything that Stevenson will do or put in place. This idea of the outdoor shower resonated with me a lot, because it's
so ridiculous in a corporate or company setting. it shows how good ideas or ideas which make sense for the community can take a
while before they are considered by those who can put it in place. And then how initiative can put someone in trouble at times.
Thank you to zanelle, myriad and rodney joe for comments, you brought a nice touch to the amusement.
you will see a new badge on the covers, the amusements together have gathered about 20,000 downloads, grateful for that, in addition to being grateful to the people who read and comment here, and recognizing the work of those who like to write like jmac or ash, or zanelle, gerald andersen, or keiko alvarez, and of alysa, who kindly takes care of the fiction area here.
All of this saw its birth in a community on open salon, then here, so thank you guys, thank you to the first readers, ash, gerald andersen, alysa salzberg, blindream, steel breeze, out on a limb, seth james, veronica corso, patrick franck, algyis kemezys, designanator, nick leshi, byron ayanoglu, and then thank you as well to those who began or continued to read here on our salon, emily conyngham, kathy knecht, steel breeze, keiko alvarez, art james, james emmerling, naughtybar&grill, stephen brassawe, zanelle, myriad, and rodney joe. This idea of sun on the rocks nearly did not see light, it's taken about eight years to be where it is, a very modest place.
But I love the fact it is my own, I broke a lot of barriers, to bring what you see out into amusements, something for adults, with an irreverent touch, and something which is easy to read. Connection with the community is what is relevant for me as writer, and the comments bring a lot of satisfaction. It brings out the meaning to the work, and, as you can see in the name I use here, I care about work. dont give much of a fuck about success, or money, I care about the body of work I've built and the fact it is validating in general.
I just moved into having written 1,000,000 words, one million words, feels all right, and in another sense, it's just another number, makes no difference. it was sobering for me as writer at some point, to understand that work really was all that remained of what I was doing, so I moved away from other things, and began to write something that connected with what I liked, how I saw things, or people, while I was doing the work.
so just to share with others interested in writing some of how I work, I love the process, process of writing is pleasant, versus say, the goal of writing some lofty novel. that does not work, in my experience, a sense of connection with the material does. I love the space of these amusements, it is really gratifying for me. if you liked outdoor shower, go ahead and comment, or rate it on goodreads, it's well appreciated.
BANANA HUMOR for Adults previously released:
Nook, Apple Ipad, Samsung Galaxy Tablet,
Iphone, Android, Smartphone, Kobo Books, pdf, Kindle.
THE MALIBU CASE.
Or Whether Corporate Nudity should be part of the Dress Code.
THE ACAPULCO COCKTAIL.
Or How a single Drink can turn Thirst into A Traction with the Law.
THE CAYMAN AIR BANNER.
Or Going Where Your Money Goes to Keep an Eye on How it disappears.
THE BAHAMAS LOTION.
Or Discerning When the Notion of a Lotion is not Beauty but Dependence.
THE ABU DHABI CHANNEL.
Or Whether renting pleasure is different from owning it.
THE BAHRAIN BRODERIE.
Or Whether a Wedding can be Arranged as a Matter of Levity.
THE BELLAGIO WIKILEAK.
Or How to Rely on Information before the Information relies on You.
THE CUBAN RENEGADE.
Or Whether gold can be backed by a Renegade,
when money is backed by the cap of Castro.
THE SUGAR BABY.
Or Whether sugar can turn to salt when someone overlooks the honey.
THE MARBLE TOUCAN.
Or How those who want you to leave your place are those who should leave in the first place.
THE OUTDOOR SHOWER.
Or How a shower can bring good weather to the bottom line.