The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!!

 
 
 
 
The new phone book arrived last week, deposited there by the front door like some vile yellow booby trap.
 
Luckily, I don't use the front door.
 
Do I appear to the neighbors as white trash for not bringing it in? Do I care? No, I don't, but maybe I should. Might be a good new years' resolution.. to . . . care about appearances.
 
Then again, why should I risk hernial disaster by picking up the cursed thing?
 

 
 
My computer cost me $250 a couple years ago, bought from a geek kid off of craigslist.  He built it-- my son certified it. Terrabyte memory. It works great.
 
My internet connection is by cable... not nearly google fiber speed, which is now available exclusively in Kansas City by the way (suck my flyover zone!), but pretty darned quick. $24.95 a month. May be extravagant, right, but I do business off the thing... besides blogging even.
 
I can google or otherwise search up any phone number in the history of phones, even back to Green Acres days, in less time than it takes to...
. . .  say "yes dahlink?"  
 
 
 
 
Informal poll: who amongst you or anyone you know looks up phone numbers in a book somewhere between two inches and two feet thick? 
 
Question two- how many of you, and I am genuinely curious, still have a home phone which might be listed in one of these.. books? I shut down my last hard wired phone years ago
 
And yet, every single household gets one of these ugly and cumbersome reminders of the days before we wiped the DoDo bird off the planet?
 
How about they print four or five phone books per city, for the people that truly do need them, and then even volunteer to deliver them to those folks upon their requests by smoke signal? I'll deliver the damned things myself. Hell, they can have mine! 
 
Seriously, how much paper? How many trees?
How many hernias, broken bones... suicides?
 
It's madness

Views: 194

Comment by Hyblaean~ Julie on September 4, 2012 at 1:38pm

but it does make for decent kindling in the winter

Comment by tr ig on September 4, 2012 at 2:05pm

true that Julie : )

Comment by Joan H on September 4, 2012 at 2:22pm

When the new DC phone books are dumped unceremoniously in our apartment lobby, my husband always picks it up, and brings it home. 

I think he just can't pass up something for free. 

Comment by D G on September 4, 2012 at 2:30pm

DFW has 2 books.  We have 18 lines at the office, total 36 phone books, delivered twice a year.   I have tried to get them stopped.  Murphy's law states that there will be a worker's comp incident getting them to the dumpster some day.  The last time the big delivery van pulled up, I asked them to deliver them right next to the dumpster.  They didn't go for that. 

Comment by tr ig on September 4, 2012 at 2:42pm

Oy Joan

Comment by Jenny on September 4, 2012 at 3:44pm

rated, or hearted... sigh....

Comment by cheshyre on September 4, 2012 at 3:55pm

Somehow I still picture you doing the Steve Martin routine when it arrives!

Comment by Kai on September 4, 2012 at 4:11pm

My thought exactly.  I want to see you jumping in plaid pants.  Please?

Comment by tr ig on September 4, 2012 at 5:10pm

I do look good in plaid, but only plaid shorts.. sawry

Comment by tr ig on September 4, 2012 at 5:10pm

D G great example of the absurdity of it all!

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