now, i have this theory that because Godiverse is very very busy, you have to be very specific with him/her/it. you can't just ask for a good housecleaner. you have to put out in to the ether that you want a cleaner who is not one just in her own mind. so you have to specify that this person not be delusional and that -- would have never thought to have ask about this -- this woman not have a cockatiel that somehow fell out of his/her cage and broke his/her wing. i'm ignorant on the subject of Birds. really ignorant so i assumed that birds' wings prevent them for falling. now, i know that domesticated birds' wings are snipped but i guess i thought that they had pretty good balance since you always see them on their various perches and maneuvering around their cages using their claws and beaks. looking more than fairly agile.
in any case, i was not prepared when this "cleaner" texted and said that she could not come to do an estimate because this cockatoo/wing thing had happened and she had to wait for the vet to come to her house and treat said bird. now, i had made very clear to this person that i keep vampire hours and she had made a point of telling me that she would be happy to come and clean in the evening. so, okay the plan was for her to come here after the vet had been there. at 5 or 6 pm. i made it clear, again, about the vampire thing and that she could come as late as the vet thing ended. so, of course, i get a text that the vet is running late and she will come the next day. so apparently what she said about coming late was pure bullshit. now, i get it that she was concerned about her bird. i love my pets. i get it. but she was only coming here to do an estimate, not to clean. so it was not a lot to ask for her to leave the injured animal for that short a time. especially since she knew that i had badly injured my back tripping over my gigantic kitty gary cooper while he was weaving himself between my legs as i was walking -- because he is a CAT and does not give a shit about anything or anyone, not even his Food Provider, plus he has more confidence than Godiverse because he is an extremely glossy and gorgeous tuxedo feline and prowls around like a mini-panther -- and causing me to fall on my hip. that i was in serious need of someone to tidy up my packrat-ish home.
so, okay, whatever. and i'm getting a weird feeling about this because she did not mention having to call and reschedule her clients because of the bird falling episode. and, of course, because of the being specific with Godiverse thing and my neglecting to carefully outline, to him/her/it, what i wanted/needed som of course, she texts the next day that when she drove to the vet -- no idea why another vet was needed but, hey, again, not familiar with this species -- her upper back somehow went out. she actually wrote, "ouch, it hurts." and can she come the next day. and now my BS detector is flashing red! because this is pure fiction and because, again, she has not mentioned having to move her cleaning appointments around.
so i realize that, as i was coming to realize, she is not a housecleaner. i don't have any idea who she is or what she thinks she does but who the fuck thinks to ask someone who has responded to your post for housekeeper, "so do you actually do this work? do you have a bird that might fall and break its wing? do you have actual people for whom you provide these services? does the middle of your back tend to fall apart and cause you to write, "ouch, it hurts." like you are child. not to mention that you know that me, your aging prospective client, has severe back/hip issues because of tripping over her dangerous feline-american.
of course i lost my freaking mind. i was pissed off and annoyed with Godiverse for not warning me that there are Cleaner Frauds out there. i mean, shit, who knew? i basically told her everything that i've told you. that i didn't believe that she actually did this job never mind have some kind of cleaning company. that she had any clients at all because she had so much free time to roam around the city with the injured bird. and that i certainly did not believe that she had damage to her back from just sitting in the car driving. i used much much much more colorful language, of course, being a longshoreman trapped in an old broad's body. i also pointed out what a mean and nasty thing this was to do since she knew that my cleaners had moved away and that it is challenging for me to do this work myself because my back truly does go out when i do it. and that i do not just say "ouch" when it happens. i say, well, you get the idea. basically i seriously needed her help. she responded with the subject line House Cleaning. i did not read it. i was afraid that i might go over some edge and not be able to get back again. if the subject line has been "I am so sorry. and here are my references.", well, i would have considered skimming what she said.
it took me a day or two to recoup from this ridiculous mindfuck. i had some choice words with Godiverse about this "having to be really specific" thing. and he/she/it reminded me once again about how busy busy busy he/she/it is and i told he/she/it that he/she/it has an attitude problem. and a pretty pronounced Deity Complex. needless to say, we did not part on good terms. we have a pretty contentious relationship over all.
Part 3 will be next. the good news Part.