The ramifications of forgiveness go far deeper than I think we sometimes may realize. These are complex times. Nothing seems very simple any longer in this modern era. We are really often angered prior to understanding what others may well be offering us in the way of insight as to the human condition.

Love is simple. Human problems sometimes simply are not.

In the act of forgiveness, we then allow others to breathe better and be themselves.


Sometimes it seems sheer improbability that certain people may even be worthy of becoming forgivable. If nobody's forgiving, then nothing seems resolvable.

Now, I'm not talking about weakness.

Weakness and being forgivable are neither one in the same nor essential to each other.

I've seen people regard me as weak for just having forgiven someone.

Go figure.

Being tough or rugged seems to be the natural human answer to having been offered some struggle or other. But if nobody's perfect, and people keep on making the mistakes we're accustomed to them making, forgiveness can become really a serious project to accomplish.

I've learned something new here lately where this tough subject is concerned. While this certainly makes me no expert, I'll have to admit that right now, in this stage of learning I'm currently experiencing, it makes sense to study the act of loving kindness called forgiveness.

But what does it mean, exactly?

The Mayo Clinic even has its own page on the subject.

Today's google search has yielded a whopping total of 52,800,000 search results!

Forgiveness must be a pretty big deal, then.

Merriam Webster online shows that to forgive is:

: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone)

: to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)

: to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed)

In other words, to let go.

To let things be.

To be FREED.

"The prisoner that it really frees is you."~ Matthew West


(Oh, I am being brazen now, aren't I?)

I think there's strength in forgiveness, not in its opposite.

Any real strength can only be gentle, kind and allowing. It simply cannot strengthen others that we be unforgiving, angry, or impulsively against truth.

So if i'm sensing that somebody else's ideal is that we be arguing and in trouble together, what's to be given?

That's the middle syllable of the word, "forgiveness," after all--


To my way of thinking, to be the swiftest, the angriest, the most rageful, the toughest, the strongest physically, doesn't necessarily mean that a person is the best.

Strength of character isn't blind to the needs of others. Maybe that's why so many people can't help but admire the character of Atticus Finch in the famous book, "To Kill a Mockingbird."

Sure, he was a great shot. He put the sick and dangerous loose dog down, remember?

But he also taught Scout to be a better person, to no longer scrap and beat people up over problems. 

He taught by example. That's why so many still love his character.

It's his dignity we could appreciate as young people growing up and viewing the film version of the book for the first time. I know that I'm one of the ones who saw Peck's version of Atticus prior to finding more depth in the book than even the film still offers me.

Atticus was a strong person. His strength of character showed in everything he said, did, and obviously felt.

The truth fits with some people.


Atticus had to choose to be forgiving of a doctored legal system even as he worked to reverse the evils of society which had allowed legality to become so doctored.

Atticus knew the ways of dignity, love, truthfulness and--


It's the flexing of certain muscles of an interior kind.

His interior self had to be strong, beautiful and courageous for him to become so respect-worthy.

To forgive.

It requires care, if not outright love, and an open heart, an open mind, and the ability to admit the truth of one's own flawed humanity.


That's a big part of my lessons here lately.

To be unforgiving is to be unkind. It holds people back. It offers nothing but mistakes, misery and a heap of problems.

Forgiveness is the freedom factor I see missing around me even as I type these words.


It's the best "F" word I know.

It's the gift that heals, mends and chooses peace.

Photo: BlairSnow

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Comment by Poor Woman on March 31, 2015 at 11:56am

Carole Dixon: Thank you for stopping by.

I see it as almost continual, too. believe you me, there've been people in my life who've required to be forgiven almost every time I've turned around!

Some people simply seem impaired in their learning function or people skills, I guess. Building tolerance seems healthier to me than a thick skin, as a thickened skin can make a body stiffer and can keep a mind from flexing.

Thanks for the shared thoughts re ex spouses. Peace to you

Comment by Poor Woman on March 31, 2015 at 11:59am

Ken: I'm sorry to hear that not even your many experiences over the cancer you've fought could jar your son out of his resentful position towards his dad.

It hurts to find that others can't adjust. Love isn't blind to what we feel, either, is it? Yet love doesn't expect complete perfection out of anybody.

peace to you with hugs for you and your sweet wife

Comment by Poor Woman on March 31, 2015 at 12:00pm


How'd I mistakenly miss your comment above?????

So sorry to be so forgetful.

Shalom to you too, my friend

Comment by Poor Woman on March 31, 2015 at 12:43pm

Jon: Are there some whose actions make it unforgivable that we be at all involved with them?

Is it true that some people simply might be unforgivably in the wrong? These are a couple of the questions I keep asking and then trying to gain wisdom and insight towards understanding.

Some people may be unrelentingly evil. Like sick stray dogs, they might unfortunately be incurably dangerous for us. I am not certain. Would it be all right to go anywhere near somebody whose soul is sick enough to where they might do one harm? I guess not!

There's a difference, I suppose, between being unwise enough to involve onself in a dangerous situation and forgiving inhindsight.

Thanks for the compliment. Peace to you

Comment by Poor Woman on March 31, 2015 at 12:47pm

Kosher: General, yes. It's been a lifelong lesson, but with a new conclusion reached very recently. Thought I'd share.

There's so much to be forgiven, isn't there?

Comment by Poor Woman on March 31, 2015 at 12:57pm

Desert: I think I can understand what you're saying here. And thank you for weighing in.

A partnership is a serious business. Some people may lack the ability to believe that it has to be exclusive in order for it to really last or function.

But betrayal can come in many flavors, can't it? Being betrayed in marriage was a painful thing for me, too, altho' I never caught my husband in flagrante. Just betraying in other sly or tricky ways. Forgiveness. Still working on forgiving that ex along with a number of others whom I've met and/or become closely affiliated with over the years.

And I would totally agree with you. I do believe that it's a greatly underrated technique toward having a more peaceful life.

A person may end up feeling defeated if betrayal is the curse they were not looking to have to deal with. I've felt all those things you mentioned, but we can add emotionally exhausted to the list, I think--for me, anyway.

Forgiveness may possibly even be a gift that we give to ourselves at the very same moment that we offer such a gift to others.


Answering your comment has offered me a chance to gain even further insight. So thanks. I appreciate your comment even more now.

Comment by Poor Woman on March 31, 2015 at 1:55pm

Cindy: Oh!--some people haven't only been difficult for me to forgive, but they've continually gotten in the way of this process!

So glad to find someone else who's interested in working toward such a conclusion (which has been ongoing for me for years!)

Thank you for the vote of confidence.

Comment by JMac1949 Today on March 31, 2015 at 2:24pm

R&L  Forgiveness, easy to say, but often harder to do.  ;-)

Comment by Poor Woman on March 31, 2015 at 2:40pm

jmac: it's a process, I guess. Working at it keeps me learning--or more aware. (Take your pick.)

Peace to you

Comment by Lyle Elmgren on March 31, 2015 at 3:12pm

I forgive, but never forget a face.


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