The ramifications of forgiveness go far deeper than I think we sometimes may realize. These are complex times. Nothing seems very simple any longer in this modern era. We are really often angered prior to understanding what others may well be offering us in the way of insight as to the human condition.

Love is simple. Human problems sometimes simply are not.

In the act of forgiveness, we then allow others to breathe better and be themselves.


Sometimes it seems sheer improbability that certain people may even be worthy of becoming forgivable. If nobody's forgiving, then nothing seems resolvable.

Now, I'm not talking about weakness.

Weakness and being forgivable are neither one in the same nor essential to each other.

I've seen people regard me as weak for just having forgiven someone.

Go figure.

Being tough or rugged seems to be the natural human answer to having been offered some struggle or other. But if nobody's perfect, and people keep on making the mistakes we're accustomed to them making, forgiveness can become really a serious project to accomplish.

I've learned something new here lately where this tough subject is concerned. While this certainly makes me no expert, I'll have to admit that right now, in this stage of learning I'm currently experiencing, it makes sense to study the act of loving kindness called forgiveness.

But what does it mean, exactly?

The Mayo Clinic even has its own page on the subject.

Today's google search has yielded a whopping total of 52,800,000 search results!

Forgiveness must be a pretty big deal, then.

Merriam Webster online shows that to forgive is:

: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone)

: to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)

: to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed)

In other words, to let go.

To let things be.

To be FREED.

"The prisoner that it really frees is you."~ Matthew West


(Oh, I am being brazen now, aren't I?)

I think there's strength in forgiveness, not in its opposite.

Any real strength can only be gentle, kind and allowing. It simply cannot strengthen others that we be unforgiving, angry, or impulsively against truth.

So if i'm sensing that somebody else's ideal is that we be arguing and in trouble together, what's to be given?

That's the middle syllable of the word, "forgiveness," after all--


To my way of thinking, to be the swiftest, the angriest, the most rageful, the toughest, the strongest physically, doesn't necessarily mean that a person is the best.

Strength of character isn't blind to the needs of others. Maybe that's why so many people can't help but admire the character of Atticus Finch in the famous book, "To Kill a Mockingbird."

Sure, he was a great shot. He put the sick and dangerous loose dog down, remember?

But he also taught Scout to be a better person, to no longer scrap and beat people up over problems. 

He taught by example. That's why so many still love his character.

It's his dignity we could appreciate as young people growing up and viewing the film version of the book for the first time. I know that I'm one of the ones who saw Peck's version of Atticus prior to finding more depth in the book than even the film still offers me.

Atticus was a strong person. His strength of character showed in everything he said, did, and obviously felt.

The truth fits with some people.


Atticus had to choose to be forgiving of a doctored legal system even as he worked to reverse the evils of society which had allowed legality to become so doctored.

Atticus knew the ways of dignity, love, truthfulness and--


It's the flexing of certain muscles of an interior kind.

His interior self had to be strong, beautiful and courageous for him to become so respect-worthy.

To forgive.

It requires care, if not outright love, and an open heart, an open mind, and the ability to admit the truth of one's own flawed humanity.


That's a big part of my lessons here lately.

To be unforgiving is to be unkind. It holds people back. It offers nothing but mistakes, misery and a heap of problems.

Forgiveness is the freedom factor I see missing around me even as I type these words.


It's the best "F" word I know.

It's the gift that heals, mends and chooses peace.

Photo: BlairSnow

Views: 300

Comment by Brazen Princess on March 31, 2015 at 10:22am

One of the qualities I admire in people is their ability to forgive - even major injustices!  I agree with Matthew West's quote here!!  Good post, PW!!

Comment by Poor Woman on March 31, 2015 at 10:40am

Brazen: (I like that word right now!) Thanks. I appreciate the positive response.

You're right--even major injustices sometimes need forgiving. After all, nobody's perfect, we all are mistake-makers, and I think that we must cut one another enough slack in order to allow for the learning curve that is human!


Comment by Poor Woman on March 31, 2015 at 10:44am

aka: Sanctimony is neither synonymous with forgiveness nor even mentioned within its context in any of my dictionaries (shelf or online).

It means "affected or hypocritical holiness."

There is nothing hypocritical about admitting one's at fault,. Neither is there anything hypocritical about offering somebody the gifts of forgiveness for simple human failing. If we all fail, and i will admit that I have failed, how could it be a hypocritical step for me to make?

Peace to you

Comment by Arthur James on March 31, 2015 at 10:55am


I hope Con C.

Open a nice

new our salon

dating service?

Cons are not

all Lawyers.

Con C. can
help us hook

up and kiss

a lonely 


or blogger

who alone

in bed?


Comment by alsoknownas on March 31, 2015 at 10:57am

Maybe "equate" was incorrect. I meant more so to say: " I sometimes see forgiveness as linked to sanctimony in that it takes a judgment call to determine the action is needed."

Comment by Carole Dixon on March 31, 2015 at 11:18am
In my life, forgiveness is a process. The best example I can give is from my first marriage. I keep getting to places where I believe I have forgiven the past, then over a quarter of a century later, I will learn of another infidelity or rotten thing he did to our sons. This is when I discover there is a bottomless barrel of undiscovered resentments. I forgive and let go again, until the next betrayal is revealed and sheds light on yet another hurt.
Comment by Kenneth Sibbett on March 31, 2015 at 11:37am

What an excellent post. I haven't talked to my son in a Blue Moon and have no idea why or what he is mad at. I can only let it be known that I am here and when he wants to be father, son, or just friends again, I am here.  Peace to you, too~

Comment by Jonathan Wolfman on March 31, 2015 at 11:49am

I have been unwilling to forgive but one time in my adult life, and I am satisfied that I won't forgive that person.

Fascinating piece, PW.

Comment by koshersalaami on March 31, 2015 at 11:49am

Yes, forgiveness can be difficult. 
Is this a general post or are you alluding to something specific? 

Comment by Poor Woman on March 31, 2015 at 11:52am

Sorry to be so behind! I was busy chatting with our Lorianne and also reading others' posts!

aka: I link sanctimony with hypocrisy. I never link it to the serious process of forgiving myself or others. I see life as a level playing field. Thanks for the further clarification.


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