On Monday I played 18-holes with the Bruiser
but he didn't seem quite on his game
On Tuesday I met the beautiful "Caitlyn"
and found out she just changed her name
I sat waiting for the Bruiser to pick me up
when I heard his SUV's familiar "beep"
I ran outside for my ride to the course
when my eyes did a full-body sweep
There sat a woman in the driver's seat
dressed like a movie star of old
She said "My name is Caitlyn now buddy"
and in one glance I was completely sold
I said Bruce, or Caitlyn, how did this happen?
Yesterday you were a real man's man
She gave me a look that could melt arctic ice
and said "it's all been a part of my plan"
"You see inside I've always been a woman
the God's made one helluva mistake
as good as I looked as the 'Gold Medal' man
my whole life was put-on and fake
Sure I've had my share of women
and so many kids I think I've lost track
but having to wake-up beside Kris everyday
was the straw that broke this camel's back
Try 'Keeping up with the Kardashian's'
with enough ego's to float to the moon
Just the size of Kimmy's super-big ass
takes up all the chairs in my living room
Khloe, Kourtney and Kimmi
Kendall, Kylie and more
are just a few of the kids that I've raised
while Kris was emasculating me to the core
I now have my own TV show
but the kids say they will not appear
I'll have to use my other set of kids
So people can see that I'm really sincere
I'm such a beautiful woman
call me Caitlyn now, if you please
I'll still beat your ass on the golf course my man
'cause I now play from the ladies tee