The Ballad of Caitlyn and the Bruiser

On Monday I played 18-holes with the Bruiser
but he didn't seem quite on his game
On Tuesday I met the beautiful "Caitlyn"
and found out she just changed her name

I sat waiting for the Bruiser to pick me up
when I heard his SUV's familiar "beep"
I ran outside for my ride to the course
when my eyes did a full-body sweep

There sat a woman in the driver's seat
dressed like a movie star of old
She said "My name is Caitlyn now buddy"
and in one glance I was completely sold

I said Bruce, or Caitlyn, how did this happen?
Yesterday you were a real man's man
She gave me a look that could melt arctic ice
and said "it's all been a part of my plan"

"You see inside I've always been a woman
the God's made one helluva mistake
as good as I looked as the 'Gold Medal' man
my whole life was put-on and fake

Sure I've had my share of women
and so many kids I think I've lost track
but having to wake-up beside Kris everyday
was the straw that broke this camel's back

Try 'Keeping up with the Kardashian's'
with enough ego's to float to the moon
Just the size of Kimmy's super-big ass
takes up all the chairs in my living room

Khloe, Kourtney and Kimmi 
Kendall, Kylie and more
are just a few of the kids that I've raised
while Kris was emasculating me to the core

I now have my own TV show
but the kids say they will not appear
I'll have to use my other set of kids
So people can see that I'm really sincere

I'm such a beautiful woman
call me Caitlyn now, if you please
I'll still beat your ass on the golf course my man
'cause I now play from the ladies tee

Views: 217

Comment by JMac1949 Memories on June 2, 2015 at 9:17am

My favorite tranny song from the sixties:

Comment by JMac1949 Memories on June 2, 2015 at 9:20am

BTW: I wish Jenner the best and hope that the beautiful "Caitlyn" can somehow escape the K-people.

Comment by Kenneth Sibbett on June 2, 2015 at 9:27am

I agree mac. I think Caitlyn getting away from Kris will be the best thing that ever happens to her. Kris wouldn't even give him a man cave in his own house~~

Comment by Jerry DeNuccio on June 2, 2015 at 10:00am

I imagine it would take the strength and courage of a decathlete to stop living according to "should" and begin living according to "must"--to abandon what others expect we should do or be and, instead, embrace what is uncompromising, undeniable, and authentic about ourselves.

Comment by Kenneth Sibbett on June 2, 2015 at 10:22am

I really think it took a lot of courage for him to come out to the world like this. To us, it's over soon enough, but he has to live the life and put up with the idiots who only believe in their own stupid beliefs. Thanks Jerry~

Comment by DaisyJane on June 2, 2015 at 10:28am

laughing - its so true - she WILL kick ass on the golf course now, playing from the woman's tees!

i think she is gorgeous, and i think this poem is an adorable and charming tribute.

strong work, scan  my man!

Comment by Kenneth Sibbett on June 2, 2015 at 10:38am

Thanks DJ~~I got up thinking about Jenner this morning (I have no reason why) and knocked this out in a few minutes. I didn't want to say anything to insult her, mainly because I admire Jenner but can't stand Kris and crew. She treated him like crap. Have a good one~~

Comment by marilyn sands on June 2, 2015 at 10:53am

The next part is the hardest!  No pun intended.  Great poem Ken.

Comment by Kenneth Sibbett on June 2, 2015 at 1:30pm

Thanks Marilyn. I didn't spend a great deal of time with it, I guess because I don't watch the show. (My wife loves it)

Comment by M. C. Sears on June 2, 2015 at 3:22pm

I can’t begin to imagine what its like to be betrayed by one’s own body to feel a certain way and yet the physical body states something completely different. I wish all those in this situation all the best and that society become less curious and kinder toward these people.

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