Haven't posted in a while. Have little bits of everything going on.

1. Had third of four rounds of NoFun. Just got over the "bad week" and looking forward to two good weeks ahead before I sit in The Chair for the last time. I'm getting a bit antsy, waiting for this to be over with. Like you just driven clear across Texas, reached the city of your destination, and are now stuck in traffic. Which brings me to...


2. I'm all over the place at work. I don't talk about what I do on here that much, but the job they pay me for hasn't been satisfying my brain for over a year now. I've been trying to branch out, but the timing has been horrible. I've missed two good opportunities to get out of the department but the openings came smack in the middle of Chemo at a time I was less than enthusiastic about trying something new. Now I'm feeling stuck again, trying to satisfy the rest of my brain without irritating my supervisor or getting behind on what they pay me for.

I like my job, I like the industry, and I like the company--for the most part. They talk about The Company "Family" and the culture that is promoted is about the men on our tugboats who are away from their families for two weeks at a time. These men and women don't get to walk out the door because their shift is over. They stay until the job is done, and just because they walk off the boat doesn't mean they're anywhere near home.

My essence of my job as a biller is to quantify the dedication and sacrifice of these men and women on the water. I can see that they do in our traffic logs and I respect that. I want to honor that.

But The Company has grown--a lot. We are in the middle of many transitions and while most departments maintain the previous ethos, not all of them do and from where I sit, All Roads Lead to Billing. We see everything. If Sales doesn't enter customer orders properly, we see it. If dispatch is sloppy in their record keeping, we see it. If Payables doesn't know how to process invoices from Other Towing Companies, we really see that.

Payables never had a window to the boats before our company growth spurt. Billing (specifically--ME) used to take care of so much that was "Payables job" because we needed to have our hands on re-billable items. Now, it's like watching someone who has never watched football before watch a football game and IT'S THEIR JOB to maintain statistics on what they see. I understand we just don't have time to do it for them anymore. But I want to help them do their job well so Billing doesn't have to come in behind them and mop up anyway. I wish for everyone at The Company to be as proficient in what they do as we are in what we do. Because if they aren't, WE SEE IT.

(And if we don't do our job well--the customer sees it. So that doesn't happen much and fixed promptly.)

So I'm all over the place trying to help out and offer as much insight as I can to other departments. I want The Company to remain one that I am proud to work for, no matter how big we get.

But I'm "just a biller".

And I have a job to do...a high-volume desk...a major customer. Which I'm still maintaining at roughly the same rate as typical. 

Which is driving my supervisor nuts--maybe because I'm acting like a knowledgeable, impassioned supervisor. 

I'm not after your job, Sup, I just prefer the billing part and not the mopping up part.

And this is me subdued by chemo. I can only imagine what'll happen when there are no more "bad weeks."


3. Also, Dear Daughter had been with her dad for the month. So I've been SUPER-FOCUSED on work and not much else.


4. I discovered that my aunt who has been staying with me all year to help out while I'm in treatment, one of only two of my relatives to have a college degree, whom I have always viewed as the intellectual superior to her siblings, subscribes to the type of holistic "medicine" where a lady says that the reason you are fatigued and overweight is because you have fungus on your brain.

huh? excuse me?

It's called Candida. You have it everywhere in your body anyway, part of the flora and fauna balance humans maintain. Supposedly there is an abundance on her brain.

---I'll say. 

When she drove from Houston to Dallas to visit this specific practitioner, I was semi-prepared to receive information that would knock around inside my head with no where to land. She told this woman that she was concerned over hair loss, that she could see her scalp and didn't want to look like her grandmother who had extra-fine hair fluffed over a nearly bare scalp (ahem). She was told that she has a selenium deficiency and given (sold) a supplement.

Selenium--I looked it up. No generally healthy person has been at risk for selenium deficiency since the 1970s--in China. You intake selenium via meats, fish and whole grains. Sardines are the fourth-most abundant source of selenium. My aunt had been eating sardines about once a week since she'd been in my home.

I dared not ask how this practitioner came about her measurements. Once, the oncology nurses were concerned I had a magnesium deficiency because they see the BLOOD WORK. The nurses didn't suggest supplements, they told me to eat trail mix.


Views: 72

Comment by lorianne on July 28, 2013 at 8:15pm

brain fungus?  ughhhh...

can not.even. THINK. about. it

glad you have having a good patch. thanks for using some of that good patch to keep us posted here!

Comment by David McClain on July 29, 2013 at 11:04am

As for the job, well my daddy always told me:  "No matter what your job is do it the best you can. If you are a ditch-digger, be the best damn ditch-digger you can be."

My daughter is a survivor of stage three Ovarian cancer and has lived with it for the past three years so I can understand a little of what you are going through. The chemo is no picnic.

Comment by JMac1949 Today on July 29, 2013 at 11:19am

"Like you just driven clear across Texas, reached the city of your destination, and are now stuck in traffic..."  Never heard chemo described in that way, but I sure know the feeling of riving across Texas just to get caught in traffic on the 610...R&L Be better, be well ;-)


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