I could not see you actually leave
on that sharp night of unexpected terror
that made you strange with discomfort, pain, horror and then exhaustion
your anger at having to die so suddenly enclosed you like a clear plastic case
I couldn’t get through it; I didn’t have time
while you felt that I was always inside anyway
But I knew when you were gone
your body so squarely solid and stocky, the salesman at the suit store said your jacket size was “portly.”
like a round stove, you warmed me so quickly that I soon had to move away because I started overheating
Your cheek slowly turned cold
as I sat on the floor
my head resting on your hospital bed,
mentally smashed, and the room circling around me
Could you ever need me more?
Than now, in this monstrous country?
You did not leave alone, my everything
I summon you easily; you are me
My love still hovers over you
And will ever hover.