Starbucks and the R.. Pain in the Ass Special

My daughter, R, fifteen, likes a very particular drink that comes from Starbucks. Its description goes something like this:

Mocha frappucino, cream based, grande in a venti cup, layered. 

That's not enough for some barristas, and there are a few Starbucks on our traffic pattern, so we're not always at the same one, but four of them have people who know us. "Cream based" means no coffee, which is the most likely mistake. "Layered with what?" is the most frequent question I get, and the answer is whipped cream. At this point, someone who's made the drink for us before usually interrupts and explains it to the barrista. Essentially, this thing is built like a parfait, in strata, with whipped cream alternating with the rather thick drink. 

It's a pain in the ass to describe and I was under the impression that it was a pain in the ass to make, though barristas tell me they make drinks way more complicated than that. 

(Incidentally, I don't refer to my kids, living or deceased, by their initials except in posts. I don't use my daughter's initial when talking to barristas, I use her name.) 

So, because it's a pain in the ass in two ways and I could use shorthand for the drink for where I go repeatedly, I call it the R Pain in the Ass Special. They all smile at that but they universally refuse to use the name themselves. 

I generally go into Starbucks by myself to order and pick up drinks, even if my wife and/or daughter are with me. they usually stay in the car. 

Yesterday my wife goes into one of our neighborhood Starbucks and is trying to describe the drink to the cashier. She does not go into this branch much at all, though I do. The cashier gets it but doesn't write it on the order because it's easier to explain it verbally than to write it down, and starts to describe it to the barrista, who interrupts, saying:

"I know this drink. It's for R."

Nice to know they're listening. Also, that was admirably diplomatic.

Views: 351

Comment by Zanelle on September 18, 2015 at 9:59am

So cute.  R is a lucky teen.  Starbucks annoys me somehow.  I think it is because they took the nipples off their mermaid logo when someone complained.  I like to drink water.

Comment by JMac1949 Today on September 18, 2015 at 10:05am

Beware Kosh, you may be enabling an addiction.  R&L :-D

Comment by koshersalaami on September 18, 2015 at 10:05am

I never knew about the nipples. 

Comment by koshersalaami on September 18, 2015 at 10:14am

Yes, I suppose I could be enabling an addiction. She could start mainlining frappucinos one of these days. 

I may actually consider a new addiction for myself. TripAdvisor rated hamburger places based on member feedback around the United States and they listed their top ten in the country a month or two ago. Most are in isolated locations like South Dakota and Oklahoma. Hardly any are in major urban areas. There are zero in the northeast or, I think, the Great Lakes region. There's one outside of DC in a very old town several miles west in Virginia. As it turns out, there's also one here and my wife and I finally went over and tried it. Took a while to get seated, little, noisy, huge beer list but I didn't feel like it at lunch. Got served on little rectangular mesh trays with a side and dipping sauce. Damn. Got it. Going back. 

Comment by Arthur James on September 18, 2015 at 10:50am


Water better... I agree.

I was told by a DC coffee 

Brewer at ` Starbucks

Some Street ` Walkers?

FED sorrels ` On Clock?

Spend Over ` $20- Bucks

per Day. It ` Funner0Saner

To Pause to ` View Bush.


Butterfly Bush, ` O? Make a

World Better huh ` Commies?

Economies... how ` Be Thrifty?

Save a Self ... huh` A Near huh?

One Day . . . sigh ` Crashed? 

Rogue . . .  sad ` Foolery. -

Pop-of ... why? ` Too Crazy. -

ODD DAY YUP ` Insanity too. -


Comment by nerd cred on September 18, 2015 at 11:52am

In a drink like that how can you tell if there's coffee in it anyway? :-D 

Comment by Myriad on September 18, 2015 at 12:31pm


Comment by koshersalaami on September 18, 2015 at 1:29pm
Easily, NC
Comment by Arthur James on September 18, 2015 at 1:42pm


i tried a Hazelnut

Flavored Coffee once.

Horses Who Sip latte 

say ` Hazel nuts are

Favorite ` Good Nut.

Eat Hay & ` Say Hay-

Ya's Fellow ` Nuts.-





`? '

`no '

it bah




Be kind...


Comment by Rosigami on September 19, 2015 at 1:13am

Sounds like a yummy dessert. Nice to know they're paying attention. 

Here in the land of coffee mania, aka Seattle, I take mine strong, 2 sugars, some almond milk, and I make it myself. I sometimes put a little vanilla/hazelnut coffee in the pot if I can get it flavored with the real thing. 


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