Special Needs Adaptive Equipment

This post is a follow-up to my Ice Breaker post dated March 20, 2017.  I have acquired some equipment that I have found particularly useful in combating some of my problems.  The two I am sharing today are my special watch and my hideous luggage rack.

I’m starting with my luggage rack because this will be quick and obvious when you see the photo.  About a month ago my husband and I bought a different vehicle.  It has a hideous luggage rack on top.  It makes us look like mountain climbers or something.  I immediately tried to figure out how to remove it after we got it home, but I lost track of time.  Just when I was about to unscrew the first bracket, Eric was rushing me into the car because we were late for something or other.  My fault.  Not his.  “You need to do that later,” he said.  That one little sentence completely altered my parking lot/ramp experiences FOREVER.  I have yet to lose that thing in a parking lot.

My second handy little item is my watch made for people with ADD.  Eric and I were seeing a PhD who specializes in ADD.  I know, right?!  Harvard.  He ended up at our dumpy little VA back home because they were the one hospital that would allow him to continue his research.  He hit the jackpot with us.  We hit the jackpot with him.  The three of us were in his tiny over-heated office bouncing off each other like pinballs.  His bookshelves were in total disarray, jammed with loose papers, files and books.  His desk looked much the same.  I wish I could show you how he questioned us and feverishly took notes.  I will save that for another day.

Dr.  ***** suggested I look into getting a watch designed for ADD people like me.  Eric and I have different issues with the same diagnosis.  He is Army…..strictly on schedule.  If you are on time, you are late.  In my mind if I get there early I am wasting valuable time that I could have used for something else.  This makes him crazy.  It makes Brass crazy, too.  They are cut from the same cloth, those two.

When our next appointment rolled around,  Dr. ***** asked me if I had looked into the watch.  Nope.  Totally forgot.  Next time.  I finally did it and turns out they are designed for kids and come in five lovely colors of silicone.  I am not a silicone-wearing girl.  At least not outside my skin.  I admit I was a bit discouraged, but I ordered the thing up anyway and gave her a go.  It’s great.  You can set it to vibrate every 5, 10, or 15 minutes.  It’s a little cattle-prod for the time challenged people.  You can also set alarms for various pre-programmed important things, like “homework,” “brush teeth,” “chores,” “wipe your ass.”  (I was about to write ‘JK’ after the last one, but Eric told me you are all smart enough to figure out my jokes.  I need to stop explaining them to you.)

The watch has some serious design flaws.  I’m not going to tell them to you because I am going to design one myself.  I don’t want any of you thieves stealing my ideas.  (She says as she adds that to the list of a thousand other things she is going to do.)  I will share the most obvious one, however.  It is absolutely fucking ugly.  It makes me think about my hideous luggage rack.

These two pieces of adaptive equipment are sort of rugged looking.  If I’m wearing my work out clothes, fine.  I MIGHT be able to pass as an outdoorsy, bark-eating, anti fossil fuel kind of girl.  My luggage rack carries all that camping and mountain climbing gear.   My watch keeps track of all the miles I run out on the trails and reminds me when it’s time for my granola. 

Here’s the rub.  I am so infrequently wearing my workout clothes that I usually look like I need that rack on my car for some other sort of adaptive equipment and my watch screams, “THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN.  SHE IS WEARING A TRENDY LITTLE GET-UP WITH ADORABLE BOOTS AND A SILICONE DIGITAL WATCH LIKE MY GRANDMA USED TO OWN WHEN THEY FIRST CAME OUT WITH DIGITAL WATCHES!”

I can’t think of a clever way to wrap this up.


Views: 115

Comment by Safe Bet's Amy on March 23, 2017 at 7:48pm

At least not outside my skin...

I see what you did there.  LOL

As for the "roof rack"?  What the hell IS that thing?  It looks like a rack that Torquemada used to use!

Comment by Lisa Winkie on March 24, 2017 at 6:07am

Excellent, sista!  You are awesome.  

The roof rack is crazy.  However, it makes for some hilarious jokes.  For instance, my sister took one look at it and said, "No you have two big racks."

Comment by JMac1949 Today on March 24, 2017 at 6:53am

R&L, I haven't worn a watch in 40 years.  Sometimes I forget something but I'm rarely late for anything.

Comment by Lisa Winkie on March 24, 2017 at 9:51am

I AM SO EXCITED TO SHOW THIS TO YOU GUYS!  I am going to include the full monty photo of my own gear rack.  But look what I found this morning.

Not only is it too long but it is held on by duct tape!!!!!  I was feeling pretty damn good about my car gear until....the owner of this truck WALKED UP while I was taking pictures.  Panic!  I dropped my phone like a hot cake and sped off. Fortunately he didn't notice me parked directly behind his vehicle snapping photos and laughing.  I was still laughing, though, as I left the parking lot because I had imagined a feeble little old man owned the truck. Not so.  It was a young, cocky, angry- looking dude who surely would not have hesitated to kick my ass if he had spotted me.

Comment by Safe Bet's Amy on March 24, 2017 at 10:29am

Did the guy with the truck, by chance, happen to look like this?

Image result for redneck with mullet

Comment by Safe Bet's Amy on March 24, 2017 at 10:36am

Oh, look!  Somebody else has the same roof rack!  LOL

Image result for indians riding on roof of bus

Comment by Lisa Winkie on March 25, 2017 at 7:13am

YES!  He looked very much like my cousin.


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