Special Needs Adaptive Equipment
This post is a follow-up to my Ice Breaker post dated March 20, 2017. I have acquired some equipment that I have found particularly useful in combating some of my problems. The two I am sharing today are my special watch and my hideous luggage rack.
I’m starting with my luggage rack because this will be quick and obvious when you see the photo. About a month ago my husband and I bought a different vehicle. It has a hideous luggage rack on top. It makes us look like mountain climbers or something. I immediately tried to figure out how to remove it after we got it home, but I lost track of time. Just when I was about to unscrew the first bracket, Eric was rushing me into the car because we were late for something or other. My fault. Not his. “You need to do that later,” he said. That one little sentence completely altered my parking lot/ramp experiences FOREVER. I have yet to lose that thing in a parking lot.
My second handy little item is my watch made for people with ADD. Eric and I were seeing a PhD who specializes in ADD. I know, right?! Harvard. He ended up at our dumpy little VA back home because they were the one hospital that would allow him to continue his research. He hit the jackpot with us. We hit the jackpot with him. The three of us were in his tiny over-heated office bouncing off each other like pinballs. His bookshelves were in total disarray, jammed with loose papers, files and books. His desk looked much the same. I wish I could show you how he questioned us and feverishly took notes. I will save that for another day.
Dr. ***** suggested I look into getting a watch designed for ADD people like me. Eric and I have different issues with the same diagnosis. He is Army…..strictly on schedule. If you are on time, you are late. In my mind if I get there early I am wasting valuable time that I could have used for something else. This makes him crazy. It makes Brass crazy, too. They are cut from the same cloth, those two.
When our next appointment rolled around, Dr. ***** asked me if I had looked into the watch. Nope. Totally forgot. Next time. I finally did it and turns out they are designed for kids and come in five lovely colors of silicone. I am not a silicone-wearing girl. At least not outside my skin. I admit I was a bit discouraged, but I ordered the thing up anyway and gave her a go. It’s great. You can set it to vibrate every 5, 10, or 15 minutes. It’s a little cattle-prod for the time challenged people. You can also set alarms for various pre-programmed important things, like “homework,” “brush teeth,” “chores,” “wipe your ass.” (I was about to write ‘JK’ after the last one, but Eric told me you are all smart enough to figure out my jokes. I need to stop explaining them to you.)
The watch has some serious design flaws. I’m not going to tell them to you because I am going to design one myself. I don’t want any of you thieves stealing my ideas. (She says as she adds that to the list of a thousand other things she is going to do.) I will share the most obvious one, however. It is absolutely fucking ugly. It makes me think about my hideous luggage rack.
These two pieces of adaptive equipment are sort of rugged looking. If I’m wearing my work out clothes, fine. I MIGHT be able to pass as an outdoorsy, bark-eating, anti fossil fuel kind of girl. My luggage rack carries all that camping and mountain climbing gear. My watch keeps track of all the miles I run out on the trails and reminds me when it’s time for my granola.
Here’s the rub. I am so infrequently wearing my workout clothes that I usually look like I need that rack on my car for some other sort of adaptive equipment and my watch screams, “THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN. SHE IS WEARING A TRENDY LITTLE GET-UP WITH ADORABLE BOOTS AND A SILICONE DIGITAL WATCH LIKE MY GRANDMA USED TO OWN WHEN THEY FIRST CAME OUT WITH DIGITAL WATCHES!”
I can’t think of a clever way to wrap this up.