We all know that P.T. Barnum (may have) said there's a sucker born every minute - but one of our campaigners for President has made it an art form...
"I was going to say something extremely rough to Hillary & her family about indiscretions - but can't do it"!
* You just did!
(hackers) "Russia, Russia, Russia - China...it also could be somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds"!
"My 10 year old son is unbelievable with computers"!
* Maybe it was him!
"I'm under routine audit"!
* If that's anything like a routine colonoscopy - bring it on!
"My microphone was bad"!
* Maybe some of the copious amounts of water you drank got on it!
"Under my plan; I'll be reducing Taxes immensely"!
* But mine first!
"And, by the way - my tax cut is the biggest since Ronald Reagan"!
* Wasn't that your wifey who said something like that last night... or just time to say Reagan's name again?
(the trump loophole) "Who gave it that name"?
* We all did - as we were signing our 1040's!
"Law & Order"!
* That's what's needed after your Rallies!
"I have the endorsement of the NRA"!
* And, by the way - the KKK!
"As far as the nuclear is concerned - it is the single greatest threat that this country has"!
* What happened to - "Why can't we use nuclear weapons"?
(gold star family) "I'd like to hear his wife say something"!
* Like yours who borrowed word-for-word?
"I've always wanted to get the Purple Heart"!
* How about first - try a pulsating real one!
(hotel) "We're just opening one up on Pennsylvania Avenue right next to the White House"!
* So Russia can hear us better!
(telling Isis everything) "Douglas MacArthur wouldn't like that too much"!
* He not only would roll over in his grave that you mentioned him - but he "Will Return"!