SOMEONE ELSE'S LOVE

what does it feel like to know someone loves you,
when you don’t feel that same love in return?
and how do you treat this lover,
to try to help them not to yearn?

you can only state your feelings clearly,
and know if you're not kindled, well, you just are not.
and although it hurts, right down to the bone,
you wouldn’t want any love to be for naught.

there was a quote i read somewhere,
something about no accounting for where love might go;
be it a Goddess or a Sow’s Ear,
no tellin’ what your heart wants to unfold.

it’s silly to even try to explain inter-action;
interest is caught, or it simply, isn't.
Carl Jung calls it the Anima and Animus,
your secret Opposite you perceive, within it.

if you are kind, you will treat it kindly,
and be ginger with this lover’s heart.
but you must also make it clear to them,
that what they hoped for isn't the same on your part.

but if you are cruel, you will be careless,
and you will cause another great pain.
so if you do not love them in return,
you should not lead them any further your way.

not everyone can make a transition
from being Lovers into being Friends.
no shame, no blame, we’re all just like that;
when love is unrequited, it must end.

it does neither party any good
to wish for completion in another.
if you are not complete within your own self,
you will cling, and grasp, and smother.

no one wants to be glommed onto;
no one wants someone on their tail.
it begets mistrust and ownership,
and in that imbalance Love cannot prevail.

so be loving in your departure;
allow each side to have flight.
be sweet to each the other's hearts,
and wish them well as you move on by.

for in the end, you realize you are only a lock,
and someone wants the key.
but if they insist, and don't pique the same in return,
they only want to fulfill their own need.

need only hurts when it’s not returned,
but one's dreams only reside in their own mind.
if you think you've met a soulmate,
think twice if it doesn't return in like kind.

for one will be a taker, and one will be a giver,
and depletion is it's only course.
without mutual spark in interplay,
you only allow their cart to drive their own horse.

~


9.7.11
neè 4.29.18

Graphic: "In Sight," by Bear Kirkpatrick,
entitled The Triumph Of Death.
Appears to be after Bosch, which is fitting. I like havin' him around.

Views: 91

Comment by The Songbird on April 29, 2018 at 3:55pm

The original outpouring of this piece came with angst, like swatting a persistent gnat.  But revisiting it from learning, I like the direction I needed to know.  All love is precious, and one should never be cavalier with it. 

Comment by koshersalaami on April 29, 2018 at 5:28pm

And sometimes it changes. I know, I changed. 

Comment by The Songbird on April 30, 2018 at 7:51pm

We are our own evidence, and writing is such a spirit-connex.  Therein, you see it - the melding, shift, and refinement of purpose.  Tx, Kosh!  Smiles. 

Comment by Anna Herrington on May 1, 2018 at 9:10am

Yes.

To me this lovely outpouring relates to even friends, sometimes family, and especially lovers, when one needs more than the other can offer, or...

for one will be a taker, and one will be a giver,
and depletion is it's only course.

Is that 'love' that is precious or flawed human nature or something else....?? 

I never know what to do and often walk away even if it seems hurtful, as staying or trying any longer just hurts me more. I've let people suck me dry when younger - usually unknowingly...I'll give benefit of the doubt, anyway - in attempts to remain 'together,' with friends too, family too, and I just *won't* anymore.

I've learned over the years I run like a moth to a flame towards narcissists who tend only think of themselves and what they need.... and I just *won't* anymore (she says to herself somewhat convincingly : )).

Family of origin dynamics (my issue - everyone's issue?) can continue and continue and continue as long as we stay somewhat willfully blind/ignorant/asleep....

Beautifully done. I'll be back to re-read again.

Comment by The Songbird on May 1, 2018 at 9:46am

Thank ya, darlin'.  It is indeed, to me, the inner-workings of interplay.  The recognito of oneself, from the outside is not actually possible.  I quote myself at times from that perspective, some piece came out during the Time of screen-inception, in that 'if God wanted us to look at our selves all the time, he'd have placed our eyes upon our wrists.'  -- from them, come w/rest, as in The Big Sigh, but it is, only one's personal brand of Logic, met with an Other. Immediacy, all that.

What I'm thinking lately IS about the outward push, thrust, hey!, how'wa'ya?!, instant camraderie that takes one by -- Surprise.   It's always the Other Element, in an equation.  In the 4 Elements, Earth, Air, Water, Fire -- what is the lynchpin between any/all of them, that would make them either unite? -- or combust?  It's a simple twist of logic is all, and the Element of Surprise is indeed, to me, the unspoken Ingredient.   It is the very basis of Assumption.  It is also a Third Element, underneath polarizations of two-sides, either/or, pick-one, angst, nnnnngh! just agree with me!! tussle --because we, inwardly, seek agreement in order to align, but outwardly, are received as being Pushy. 

Offense comes in many guises, and is received as a sucker or a wiseass.  Any perp, as subtle as it gets, wants some - thing - from you if you find your self guessing.  They always have a jump on you, even one second earlier, because YOU - have made a space for it.   The element of Surprise.  

Dark and light only co-exist.  To have known another's hunger, and what you did, or did not, do, in past situations is the keynote to your perception from the outside.

Learning to say No is a hard thing. Because, often, it is sudden and abrupt, the Beggar's Ruse, and only alignment between your heart & head, keeping your self outside your skin and owning the privacy and secrecy of your self, which is stored withIN your spirit space -- holds that at bay.  

It is a very subtle shift, and -- I really don't know if it is 'es'pecially for/by women, but heartstrings do indeed get played.  In fam situations?, uuuch, there is that whole 'umbrella' dynamic, things said behind backs, behavior suggested, regards.

But your Spirit always knows.

It took me yeeears to not be a 'yes man,' even as 'the Boss' in work, always looking for the level playing field.  What is your motive? is an affirmation I have place 3 feet away from me, in my spirit-space, and the other, to be the question, bringer, vs. the answer, the know-it-all I've learned from Beth Jordan, is indeed knowing your own words, demeanor, purpose, aim, and --- deflection.

Those of the Want!, Need!, Fix It! succubus only come round because they sense Light, so in the flipside --- they come to reMIND you that you are the one they see.  Choose Your Weapon - or Tool - wisely; the best way to disarm, and subsequently empower another -- is to teach.  ASK -- do not tell.  But always be ready to BE the question.  Why?  How?  It is, indeed, the unexpected.  You can even do it silently, to give yourself pause before a knee-jerk reaction.  And in that pause -- the element of Surprise -- shifts. 

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