some things i am still excited about - open call

ok so you know its been a hard year, hard couple years, few, several.

and i have not been wanting to do things, like, EVER, lately, and i was worried i might be getting depressed i dont even want to go to my writing group, which i normally love.  but it is VERY taxing, that writing group.  three hours long, and you do and you listen to very intense writing.

so i started to think about excitement vs non-excitement.  and i came up with a list of things i am still excited about:

seeing a tiny handful of friends.  a tiny handful.  three, roughly.  four.  five if you include my friend in new jersey.  after this past summer, when so many friends failed to be there for my son, i admit, several important friendships took a hit and i dont care if i see those friends or not.  which doesnt mean i wont have fun if i DO see them, but they are not who they used to be, to me. i do not pick up the phone to call them.  

i am excited about the things i am doing for my writing, like applying for residencies that are close to home.  that writing excites me - the idea of long chunks of time to write something substantial, i love that idea.

going to the berg collection at the nypl, and reading charles dickens's real true letters that he wrote.  holding paper he touched.  very very excited about that.  tho it does compete with:  NOT excited to go to the city and freeze.

i still always get a rush if i am around someone who can talk about books or art.  like, gives me a rush, excited.  rare, but i do have one friend always good to talk about some writing with.  and we have the same taste, so that makes it even better.

that snowflake shaped snow sure excited me.  and the rainbow sparkles it made the next day.  RAINBOW colored!

bernie.  so excited about him its not even proper.

michael moore's new movie.

how cute my hair looks after my haircut and color.  it was four colors and uneven, after me tending to it since last fall, including a really bad day when i hacked it off in one swoop after it taking too damn long to wash.  my haircut guy told me today to be glad it takes too long to wash.  i said i would try.  i said, "at least you know i am not cheating on you with another salon!"  he laughed pretty hard and said, "if you are, stop!"

i am really excited about a band called darlingside. here, let me add a song of theirs.  i am super grabbed by a new song about once every 2 years at this point.  i saw these guys a month or so ago and i LOVE them, and not just one song.  oh god it kills me. listening again now.  the fact they are insanely cute and wear tight pants does not hurt.  sue me. i listen to them so often and repeatedly that my son begs me not to put them on again.

writing a kickass poem is still exciting, and still happens occasionally.  i will have a second book out by the end of the year.

the idea of spring and summer, still super excited.  the idea of a trip to san diego, of being in balboa park again, of seeing my friends out there again, really exciting.  not sure if its going to happen soon, but my exercise here is making sure i AM still excited about things, and i am.

i dont know, is that enough?  i think it is. i  think its plenty.  life isnt a happy dance.  i think thats lots of things to be excited about.

so, open call - what are you excited about?


Views: 316

Comment by DaisyJane on February 12, 2016 at 7:20pm

NOT excited to have a date, and i have to have a date sooner or later.  with an old friend who looked for me on facebook for months before he found my decoy name. he is an old friend, which means he is easy to be around bc he remembers me as i was and its easier to be as i was, bc of that. and he makes a very healthy living doing something he loves, and woos me with pictures of his kitchen - its a show kitchen but it actually gets used.  and sends me pics and texts me when he is on vacation.  and he is tall and burly.  and i am like this, "yeah, but, y'know, he hunts." and i dont want to go.  but thats stupid.  in san diego i hung out with his brother practically every day, his brother used to be my roommate when i was a slip of a girl (i was never a slip of a girl), and it was SO EASY to be around him.  but him i wouldnt date bc if i move out there, having a friend is way more important than having a boyfriend.  instead i could marry his brother and he can get me a job at his job and i could work in the city and not be poor!  and i am like this, "noooo, please god almighty dont make me."  my french canadian friend wants to come visit but for gods sake he lives in canada and i am NOT moving to canada, so there is no point!  except, again, as friends.  he remembers me from when i was young, too.  i'll be perfectly happy to see him as friends. 

Comment by JMac1949 Today on February 12, 2016 at 7:34pm

I honestly cannot think of anything that excites me at this point.  Who knows, maybe later this year.  Malaise or old age... sigh.

Comment by DaisyJane on February 12, 2016 at 7:42pm

ah jmac.  okay, we gotta work on that.  we can brainstorm.  <3

Comment by DaisyJane on February 12, 2016 at 7:43pm

but wait!  you are excited about bernie!  maybe not a stone cold freak about him like me, but you are excited by him. that counts!  if a conversation leaves you exhilarated, that counts!  you have a library near to you?

Comment by nerd cred on February 12, 2016 at 9:52pm

Tomorrow my daughter, Two and her family are arriving from Silicon Valley for her husband to have two job interviews. His work at PredatorTech isn't as creative as he'd hoped, she's remembered she doesn't like Calif, the public schools aren't great and the drought makes her edgy. It would cost them a million dollars to buy a crappy little house in a bad neighborhood so the big pay cut he'll have to take will not have much of a negative impact on their quality of life.

If they end up here I'll have all three grands nearby.

I'm excited.

Comment by Dandy Lion on February 12, 2016 at 10:29pm

Great Open Call topic but like jmac I'm seldom excited by anything any more.  Last time I think was October when we elected a new government led by Justin Trudeau.  I was somewhat involved in my local campaign and our candidate won a come-from-behind victory.  But for the most part my excitements are behind me.

Comment by DaisyJane on February 13, 2016 at 6:01am

nerd - that is VERY exciting news!  cant wait to hear more about it - it sounds like a good move for them!

dandy - damn, i dont like that.   we gotta figure that out.  i mean, we dont gotta be jumping up and down like its a new  partridge family record and we are little and its the 1970s, but...  unless is it just a symptom of aging?  i mean, i am surely not excited like i once was - does that just happen naturally?

i am glad trudeau won, too.  i wonder if you can make phone calls for bernie from canada....

look on and see if there is anything interesting.  as for me, soon as i move to san diego, if i ever do, i am joining the BULLDOG meetup, so i can hang out with a ton of bulldogs once a month!

Comment by Rodney Roe on February 15, 2016 at 4:19am

Great idea for an open call.  I'm sort of with JMac, I don't get excited about much anymore.  I don't know whether it's the time of my life, the time of the season or the time of the universe.  I filled out a questionnaire on a psychology website with a lot of questions like, "On a scale of one to five, with one being the lowest and five being the highest, how strongly do you feel about this.  It was about Conservative vs. Liberal stands.  I got a message at the end telling me that they suspected, based on my level of enthusiasm that I might be depressed.  I'm not sure whether it is depression or ennui. Still, I will think about it.  I can already think of a couple of things.

Writing is one.

Comment by Steel Breeze on February 15, 2016 at 5:47am

if emotions range from 1 to 10.......i only have 4&5.......sorry....

Comment by Julie Johnson on February 15, 2016 at 7:44am

Daisy Jane, I was thinking about this one.  Nerd Cred's is a good one.  I never have been a real 'excitable' person though.  Not actually a pessimist, but I try not to get my hopes up.  Sort of hubris thing, I think I was raised with.  I bet you came out an extrovert on that personality test didn't ya?  Oh, and I did think of this question to make a post with some old pictures of the Laundromat.  Those were some good days, with a bit of excitement.  

If anybody from the old days of the net, showed up there on that post, I would be excited.  Yes, I would.  But, I doubt it.  


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