i am not putting in links, bc i am so beyond tired, and have been working so beyond hard (no, not really, not beyond hard. i have taken LOTS of breaks, and i have not had to carry one single heavy thing, but as hard as you can work with those two things being true, thats how hard i have worked. pretty hard. pretty, pretty pretty pretty hard, as larry david the traitor would say).
but i have a holy hell of a cough, but even that is nowhere near as bad as it could be, bc it isnt constant. the cough IS as bad as a cough gets, but only sporadic, which makes it way better.
so, quick notes - goals for year: worry less, so i can try to use that worrying energy for something good.
forgive myself for any mistakes i made as a mother, bc otherwise the guilt will eat me alive. i mean, if i listed the worst things i ever did, nobody here would be appalled, but the guilt kills me anyway. its not productive. and *IF* i believe in a god that forgives us all as long as he knows we tried? shit, i believe in a god that forgives us all EVEN HITLER whose name i cant even bear to hear spoken - i believe in a god that loves us that much, and knows we all fuck up in the process of this life - if i believe that, then does it make sense i should be meaner to myself than god is? i should have higher standards than god? apparently.
from those two main goals, everything else will be easier.
but i wanted to talk about something else. i wanted to ask when is the last time you read about dinosaurs?
and when is the last time you read about astronauts?
i recommend you do some reading. cause in the case of the astronauts, they are even MORE impressive than they were when you were younger. something about perspective, i dont know what.
look up badass astronauts. the article is so amazing that you think its fake, but its not.
and just look up, say nanotyrannosaurus, and imagine again, being among the FIRST people to find those things - whoo, can you imagine?? dinosaur skeletons!! dinosaur fossils and actual DINOSAURS!
fight the power by ignoring the news. best thing you can do for yourself, and way too much will trickle down to you anyway.