Sen Orrin Hatch Stirs Controversy Over Children’s Healthcare: Republican Senator Orrin Hatch caused quite a controversy while engaged in children's healthcare debate after he suggested he had a hard time helping people who “won’t lift a finger” to help themselves. Good point senator - its about time someone exposes those lazy-ass children. These little brats sure have a lot of nerve getting sick! Now its time get rid of those damn child labor laws and send those lazy little bastards back down in the coal mines where they belong. After all, somebody’s gotta pay for all those corporate tax breaks. Oh, and a - Merry Christmas from your Republican Party!
105-Year-Old Woman Says Bacon Is Key To Longevity: A 105-year-old Texas woman who worked a life of physical labor and mothered seven children claims that the secret to her longevity is bacon. Geriatric physicians caution bacon lovers that before they become too excited, its important to point out that the poor old woman apparently responds to nearly everything she’s asked with the word “bacon.”
Sen Grassley Claims Non-Millionaires Waste Money On Booze and Women: In an astonishing defense of dropping “estate taxes” for individual estates worth more than $5.5 million, GOP Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley implied that non-millionaires not currently affected by that tax are basically “spending every darn penny...on booze or women.” Why that’s absolutely ridiculous! Now bitch, hand me that Shortdog Wine before it gets warm.