Scientists Say Space is Full of Dirty Toxic Grease: Researchers say they’ve determined that the Milky Way galaxy is just full of dirty, toxic space grease - the equivalent of nearly 40 trillion trillion trillion packs of butter. Now, who cares if the Milky Way is full of grease- I’m not planning on eating any of it anyway.
New Oxford Study Says Humans Are Alone in Universe: A new study out of Oxford University, strongly suggests that humanity is all alone in the observable universe, putting a damper on the theory that there is intelligent life somewhere in the known universe. That said, many psychologists are disputing that finding, pointing out that we’ll never be “alone” as long as we still have all those Kardashian tweets to keep us company.
Cops Remove Beer Can from Skunk’s Head: Police have removed a Miller Lite beer can from the head of a semi-intoxicated skunk found waddling around near a fraternity at Miami of Ohio University. Needless to say, police report the poor animal was drunk as a skunk.