you've been online too long when you
...read tea leaves where there is no tea
...feel the oppressive sensations of being bullied, insulted and abused
...then report your findings to the authorities. anonymously
...copy other peoples posts then pour over them in search of hidden meanings and occult messages
...you find lots!
...see into your monitor and directly through it into the minds of people you don't know
...lose your sense of humor
any or all of the above combined with severe constipation is an indicator you are suffering online saturation
steps to your cure:
1. shut down the computer. ,
2. come out of the darkness and into the light. go slowly.
3. accustom yourself to reality.
4. breathe deeply.
5. eat a piece of fruit. it will boost your possassium and help with that nasty constipation.
6. remember be gentle. you are in a fragile state
7. repeat these words (quietly): "I love myself. I do!"
8. give yourself a hug.
9. take another deep breath. prepare to leave your safe house.
10. go to the front door.....BUT before you open it and step outside, check to see that you are clothed. are your clothes properly fastened? if not, ask your personal LOLcat to help.
11. don't forget the tinfoil hat.
Dedicated to Trig, who loved him some META.