"SATIRIST'S (and Comedians) GO WIDE"...Longing for Speed Bumps in today's News Cycle!

Remember when 'Breaking News' was an Earthquake, a Wild Fire or a President choking on a pretzel?

The pace of news today compared to George Washington's day is amazing.  By the time the Town Crier got up, had breakfast & milked the cow - the news was still warm - today it would be toast!

In this White House, we need a scoreboard on who quit before they got fired, who got fired before they quit & who came in on Monday, forgot they quit & then got fired!

Sometimes I feel like I'm on the Chocolate Assembly Line on the "I Love Lucy" show - but I'm twice as fat!

As a Political Satirist & former Stand-Up - there's nothing sadder than an expiration date.  I can't just rest on my (1980's) laurels...

"Today Reagan said, 'Sex sure - Mommy promised after naptime we'd play Pee Wee's Big Adventure' "!

See, you can't go back!  ha ha

But, there's no 'Stop the Presses' - not on Donald Trump's Watch.  Everything's moving too fast! 

We can't dawdle, can't spellcheke, can't even call Siri...this morning's Trump meltdown is this afternoon's expired copy & already in the crapper!

See that - now they call it a shredder!

No, I can't keep pace with the Breaking News - I'm still workin' on 'Christie Fat Jokes'!

I'm so out of the loop - I don't even have time to find out Kim, Kendal or Khloe's latest Pregnancy Test's results!Today - everybody's on 'POTUS Resignation Watch' - with the exception of Mike Pence who wants to stall - as the drapery swatches haven't arrived yet!

And 9 out of 10 people think Bob Mueller is taking too long - the 10th person, of course - is Trump!

Remember when a Probe was held by a professional wearing a 6 finger glove?  No wonder Mueller's taking so long - Trump won't stand still!

And, he's getting fitted for a Statue!

Don't worry - he won't be sitting on a horse unless it has a number on it & came in 1st!

But, we humorists really do have a writer's obligation to keep track - making fun of the hypocrisy, the corruption, the injustices & the money launderings - and that's just while doing my 'whites'!

Don't laugh - I'm up a buck, fifty!

Yes, in the Trump Era, our latest work instantly becomes obsolete before the editor even presses the publish button.  He did what?

Like I was saying - I'll get back to you!

***

Happy to say this can also be seen in "Humor Times Magazine" but with ebay Ads for "Melania's Flood Pumps"!

https://www.humortimes.com/62920/satirists-comedians-go-wide/

Views: 54

Comment by alsoknownas on September 12, 2017 at 10:23am

Meanwhile, Pat Sajak and Vanna White are in a tizzy. What will they do when a trip to the Caribbean or Hawaii only solicits a look of pained horror?

Comment by koshersalaami on September 12, 2017 at 11:26am

Offer cash. What did they do when people got fed up with porcelain Dalmatians?

Comment by Ron Powell on September 12, 2017 at 12:10pm

Great stuff! 

Comment by marilyn sands on September 12, 2017 at 1:13pm

Thanks for stopping by aka - always a treat.  What's going on this week with Mother Nature?  More than sad.  Humorously, I'm tryin' not to go there! 

Comment by marilyn sands on September 12, 2017 at 1:36pm

Thanks Kosh.  We can't blame Trump for the weather - but it would be most honorable if he signed a Bill now on Climate Change!

Comment by marilyn sands on September 12, 2017 at 1:37pm

Thanks so much Ron - really appreciate it! 

Comment by koshersalaami on September 13, 2017 at 3:59am

That's what's called the "laissez-wreck" doctrine 

Comment by marilyn sands on September 13, 2017 at 12:16pm

Thanks Terry!  Didn't really want to go there with the devastation - but it's hard to ignore. I think it's not a matter of 'politicizing ' but recognizing an early signal & acting on it.

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