I stand under a starless sky
and feel the weight of the world
square on my shoulders
anxiety rises within me
a feeling like ants crawling
on my bare skin
fingers clench into fists
because there is nothing
for me to hang on to
and from here
worries are fanned alive
rational thought gets cloudy
I begin to see fewer options
and fear grips my soul
now the cycle of despair
has begun
the doors of melancholy
are wide open
and I know that I’ll
cross that threshold
allowing the black dogs
to rip into my flesh

~ acrylic on canvas, M.C.S.

Views: 491

Comment by JMac1949 Today on September 27, 2015 at 10:31am

So very familiar with the anticipation of the threshold. For me it is the edge of the abyss and not so much fear as weary abandon... somehow over the years I've managed to conjure up a non verbal mantra that keeps the black dogs at bay - most of the time... R&L

Comment by Arthur James on September 27, 2015 at 11:31am

`

I read ` gin off line...

I get ` goose skins too.

I get ` lost for right word.

`~ '

`

Comment by James Mark Emmerling on September 27, 2015 at 2:05pm

Like falling into a black hole...being torn apart and somehow preserved...until

the inevitable expansion

when a viable being has been attained from anguish

Viable because clear sighted.

Floating gently over the body, a living soul with a story to accumulate...

A work of art to live.

Comment by Phyllis on September 27, 2015 at 3:01pm

I hope you find a way back, soon.

Comment by DaisyJane on September 28, 2015 at 2:54pm

a beautiful and painfully rendered picture of the dark.

i second phyllis.

Comment by Jerry DeNuccio on September 29, 2015 at 1:54pm

So true: there are times when worries and anxieties come not one by one but in a gush, a full-scale invading army.  "Cycle of despair" is well chosen: one can be tempted to take a bit of comfort in the fact that cycles end--but, of course, they begin again, too.

Comment by Rosigami on September 29, 2015 at 5:53pm

I've been reading your work long enough to understand how well you know your own cycles. Your descriptions, both poetic and visual, are heart wrenching. Please remember that you are thought of and appreciated, by me and many many others. I'm glad you are able to share. 

Comment by Zanelle on September 30, 2015 at 9:43pm

You got me with this one tonight.  I think I am feeling the 'sundown' affect.  The darkness is here and getting blacker and I am swimming in nothing.  Thoughts take me down and tears flow freely.  Reading you and seeing the deep art is a tonic to me.  You know.  I know.  How deep it goes.

Comment by Foolish Monkey on October 3, 2015 at 8:28am

oh lord, there's no stopping the dispair.  it settles on your shoulders and into your gut and then there it is or you are or I am.   beautiful words and an image - both are very much understood and appreciated. 

Comment by Arthur James on October 3, 2015 at 9:24am

`

Foolish Monkey...

I agree... Learn From

Our Suffering. I visit

After Lake & Farm

Visit. I so sad... I

just heard on the

radio - PU-digital-

`

A ` Doctors Without

Borders ` Hospital was

Bombed ` 16- Humans

Were blown ` to Smithers.

`

Darkish Forces ` can Smother.

We People need ` Extraordinary

Stick-In-There ` Principles of?

`

Good...

versus

drowning

darkish

Grief.

`

Evil still

does try

to do a

Incarnate.

Inner Ill's

Embrace.

`~ ' I stop

to see if?

We gone?

Bonkers?

We a pale?

as? a bucket?

a hole in pail?

a broken tin?

a tin brain? a

empty bucket?

`

no dispair... I

say ` dismay.

but ` no do 

Ever ` QUIT '

as in ` Dark '

Ill's ` Dispair '

Hope If No a

Reason to Hope.

`

`~ ' Depth Poem -

I reread & have -

Odd sense a Joy -

`, ' rain gloom -

But a Good Sense -

A Real Live Hope -

`

thanks . . . open vent

`

`

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