Change is in the air, and in the cosmos. Life altering, big bang, here’s your karma kind of change. I think most of us see change as a big splashy thing, dramatic for good or ill, something that brings us to the front and makes us noticed. I know that’s what I always saw, changing my home or my job or my school hoping for better friends and more excitement and a road to glamour. It’s all I’ve talked about for the past year, when I can leave my job and buy an RV and go find adventure. At the same time, though, I have been feeling a real pull in a different direction.
This house that I live in has a real grip on me, I find myself asking what would be so horrible about staying here. Yes, it’s boring, but I know people who leave town every weekend. People who don’t have pets, of course, but I could probably find someone who works for the vet who would be willing to throw food in bowls and clean the litterbox. I could finally clean up the inside and make it look like the outside. And there has to be SOMEONE in this town who mows lawns for cash, which would free me up to garden.
I could also stay with my current employer until I’m 60, 5 ½ more years, which would give me the full pension instead of 64%; hopefully they won’t change the rules on us again. My house will be paid off the year I turn 62. Surely between then and now I can find a way to escape for the winter? Or at least for January and February. Or have a better plan for a permanent move. I am really not ready to move on now.
I played my clarinet yesterday, I remembered a lot and can still hit the high notes. My technique is lacking but of course it will after 30 years of not playing. I was pleasantly surprised, I just now need to make time to practice. Rather, take time to practice. I have gotten out of the habit of being industrious, 16 years of sitting around waiting for something to do 40 hours a week can kill initiative.
I haven’t made any headway on the painting yet but astrology has karmic destiny days coming up soon, I am going to plan those four days very carefully. A kick off, as it were.
I’m finding it very interesting that my “change” is to not run anymore. It is a dramatic change, for me. Let’s just hope it’s a good one.
Here are the kittens on the same piece of furniture, using it in their preferred ways. Medjet always wraps her tail around the bench.