Pentagon’s Secret UFO Boss Thinks We May Not Be Alone: After a video was released of Air Force jets tracking what appeared to be an unidentified flying object, the former head of the Pentagon’s secret UFO-hunting bureau admitted he believes “we may not be alone.”
OK, but I guess my first question is - if we all now know about it - how secret can this “Secret Pentagon UFO Unit” really be? Secondly, if these extra-terrestrials really do exist, has anyone ever explained why they only seem interested in showing up at trailer parks and heavily wooded areas in the Deep South? Could they have somehow acquired a passion for deep-fried foods? Or perhaps we’ve just discovered the first interstellar NASCAR fans? I mean, who knows? After all, when it comes to space aliens, the sky is the limit.
Anyway, in the meantime - the Trump Administration is doing their best to calm any anxieties people may have over this alien invasion disclosure by reassuring everyone that President Trump’s new global immigration policies are also designed to dissuade space aliens from landing here on Earth. This is accomplished by preventing any space aliens from finding decent paying jobs or trying to vote in elections against people like Roy Moore without being in possession of proper identification. Now I ask you, what could be more comforting than that?