Every country has a Leader - but no one before had a Tweet Room, a Food Taster or a Gross Domestic Product of Dippity Do!
It's embarrassing - Mar-a-Lago is the only Country where one side borders the Atlantic Ocean & the other - RV Hook-up Campgrounds!
And, no - you can't play Tourist & come waltzing in - many a Snowbird has tried. In fact, Trump has an agreement with MapQuest that automatically switches directions over to Elmer's Gator Farm!
Donald say, "It's a win-win - left-handed Elmer is thrilled & now leans to the Right!
Okay, the dress code is a little militant - the citizens all wear 'Members Only' Jackets & are not asked their ethnic or religious background - but there is a GoFundMe Wall!
It's really unique - the only self-governing territory of Russia that has their Embassy in Jerusalem!
Don't laugh - we just have to stop reacting to every Proclamation & Cheeseburger sheet stain - Trump's wacky decisions & comments make sense in his country; in ours - not so much!
For example - Trump wants to fill in the Grand Canyon & make it a Parking Lot - well, Lindsey Graham loved the idea!
But, Trump fooled us all - he wanted to shake-up Washington & he did - but from a safe distance in Florida!
Don't you see - his 'Think Tank' isn't his hand-picked cabinet & staffers in D.C. - but the paid-up citizens in his country!
The Real Estate Developers, Wall Street Financiers & Energy Executives not only have Trump's ear - but were told - from anywhere in Mar-a-Lago they get Free Shipping!
Citizenship? $200,000 per year, Dues $14,000 & a food minimum of $2,000 - Shrimp extra!
Not really - but I heard for 5 bucks more; you get to see Trump in his bathrobe!
And, for 5 more...give me a break he did say he had 'a bigger button'!
It's true, there's a 500 Citizenship Cap & only admits 20 to 40 new citizens a year - no matter how many Rubles get slipped under the Welcome Mat!
And, Trump milks that 'No Russians Allowed' so convincingly; nobody would ever believe Putin left his pajamas!
The Newbies? They're replacements for those who were exiled - okay, fired. Or the guy who tried to eat $2,000 worth one night at the Buffet!
Yes, just like other countries - Lagoians also have a fear of invasion...you know Disgruntled Deplorables!
But, after seeing the first one arrive on an air mattress floating down the Inter-Coastal - Trump thumped...
"Mexicans will pay for the Moat"!