I do not feel guilty for living indoors. I was raised in captivity...indoors. I have lived almost all of my life with a roof over my head, and with indoor plumbing too. 

         I don’t believe in landlords. I’ve never been one. I believe every person born should have a place to be that is irrevocable. Having no place? How damaging is that to a human psyche? 

         I believe in rules. I believe in privacy and quiet. I believe in birth control too, and shoot me for pecking this out...I believe in reproductive choice. 

          I have given up much to be living in the hills in the doublewide. I have compromised to live indoors. I am fearlessly optimistic, but deep down I fear having no place to go, and no money to pay a landlord. 

          I’ve been there, but not really. In the past  there was my mother’s house, and when I ran out of luck, I knew I could go back to where I was raised.  I always thought of that place as my place...and then she died, and then family decided to sell what I had thought was my place, twenty two years ago. My share went towards  the double wide in the hills.

          The doublewide is ours, and the first built property I have ever officially owned in name. After four decades of field work, I officially own a doublewide and a share of a mobile home park. 

           I am not home, I am far away from what I know best, and know that I never liked winters there, ever. I’m ok until May, then I want to be home, and not indoors, but on the estuary down river from the fort. The fort is gone too, but the racetrack is still there. I get home sick.

            I do not know how to fix the homeless, or convince the MIC to provide every person a place. Hell, I’m lucky they let me live at all. I’ve mostly been nipping at their heels for decades. I don’t make them do tricks, and don’t want to. 

            I had a barracks to myself at Sea Girt a few times after the fort closed; the state was kind to let me bunk in. I felt right at home. I was home, indoors, on an estuary,  but not my estuary. I did not feel guilty.

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Comment by Ron Powell on March 1, 2019 at 10:48am

"...every person born should have a place to be that is irrevocable...."

AMEN!!!

Comment by J.P. Hart on March 1, 2019 at 12:01pm

Plausibly I can arrange a sit down with Dr. Phil and you, baby. {I'm not zactly doin' Dewars way up high in DuBai, neither). Thus far I must conclude (5x50)!
(zoom to Osborne round screen: Young Rascals going on and on with Lonely Too Long) And rare that copy of Ihab Hassan's Ideology, Utopia and Fantasy Eddie Muskie shook mine hands on the tarmac, I'd FASA'd $1,000 every late August--occasionally knead pizza, walkin'round money too frequently down the hatch before you know you got it right the Easter ham would be in the oven...maybe rent-a-ride to Denver. Saxophone flat-backing it. That beautiful tall blonde kid through the windshield of that Pinto. Sweet rose spiked with mysterious clear. That expression of the State Patrolman cranking the road flare. Maybe re-brand elbow grease, sign that release. Fat Tire? I am not a liar. Snuckin' confused vhat Wayne LaPierre
American executive fist pounded on and on:...:we know they're fond of making lists(?)

Amazing the omission (low-hung grape bunch--position(;-) of Patty Hearst quickly throughout the coffee room beret...no! Two word combo: Stockholm Syndrome? And just again the other day all should silent prayer Josh Pinkard and Aurora friends,fathers,brothers and sisters, mommas . . . not the what IF?[??IT??]
what now
why not
ask not

Comment by Anna Herrington on March 2, 2019 at 9:12am

"I am fearlessly optimistic, but deep down I fear having no place to go, and no money to pay a landlord. "

I can relate to this.

...ironically, it's that I've been homeless before that calms me, I know I'd survive. Also why I know down to my bones how fabulous it is to have a roof over my head and indoor plumbing. And heat. I am grateful every night when my head hits my own pillow. One that's just been there all day waiting for me.

'Having' a place changes one, doesn't it?  (I now live in my own first-bought home...) as does not having a place. Changes you to the core. 

Nice post ~

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