oh wow, the white house correspondents dinner 2016 is making me very happy. the speeches haven't started yet but the fashion is fabulous...

and the presidential blooper reel is a riot. turns out that being Clear is his go to phrase. and that he always checks to see if the microphone is on. well, most of the time. and then there were the Mom jeans. but, shit, the man has class which is in such short supply these days, in this travesty that is the Republican competition.

obama rocked his speech, most of it anyway. took potshots at drumf and cruz of course. excellent bits. same with his jabs at the correspondents. i'm such an idiot. i just watched this and larry wilmore's comedy routine. and i didn't take any notes so i could actually talk about the 2 of them. i'll see if i deleted them. they will be on youtube for sure. i'm so disappointed in myself. shit, when i was on OS, i would live blog events like the SAG awards and the emmys. and i did a great job.

anyway, O mostly kicked ass. he is a dignified and funny funny man. but the last segment which was an overview of what he might do when he retires including watching a movie with john Boehner. actually that was pretty funny and cute. very cool to see they actually talking and interacting with each other with no tension. but a longish segment of him trying on various pairs of ray ban type mirrored shades and strutting down the white house corridors? not so good. and it went on too long. but, hey, he's a compelling character so he pulled it all off.

Larry Wilmore? wow, man, he did not do well. hmm, not sure that he did badly really because he told a lot of black jokes to a predominately white audience. most people didn't even know what he was talking about. except obama and a scattered few african-americans. and he was rough on the candidates and people like, shit, can't remember his name. getting older is a fucking pain in the ass. a cnn personality with a beard. okay, wolf blitzer. who is a great target. but an easy one. can't remember who else he went after but he was rougher than he needed to be. but i did enjoy the black stuff. he used terms like Thug a few times, jig a boo which was unexpected, black lives matter of course, black people and the police. stuff like that. very funny but he didn't read his audience. key and peele would have done a better job. and who doesn't love the Obama Translator bit where Key expresses the anger that obama never does.

i need to get my freaking agoraphobic ass to the grocery store. i haven't gone out since last monday. i would ask what the fuck is wrong with me? but i know. well, i know but i don't understand it all because it's just shitty. the agoraphobia and the bipolar 2 and the PTSD an possibly some borderline personality disorder thrown on. which it not cool. of course. because i end up acting out and burning bridges and other fun stuff. and then apologizing over and over and over again. this time, thank god, i think it's only that gia to whom i owe an apology. but i just couldn't take that shit. when you ask someone, repeatedly, to go to dinner or have coffee or drinks or whatever and the person keeps going on about how hard it is to make friends with women our age and you are a very cool woman of this age and the person just ignores my overture and goes back to talking about her grandkids and what a busy day it was. just fucking ignoring my 2nd or 3rd invitation, well, i can't do that. i just can't. maybe she's shy. maybe she's... whatever. i don't care. and i kind of have a rule against ridiculosity that i will not continue to email bigtime with people who live near me. it's jsut stupid. i email briefly with leah but we make plans to get together so it's cool. and i would call her and she has called me so, again, it's cool. same deal with cathy. i spend time with her or talk to her on the phone. while this thing? just crazy nuts. she lives in my neighborhood. she wants friends her own age supposedly but she is content to email me and complain about her life in lieu of making plans with me to do fun things. when someone invites you somewhere and it doesn't appeal to you, then fucking propose another outing. it's not rocket science and it's just fucking rude.

it really isn't easy making friends my own age. but if you go to a book thing and 2 of the women are nice, then stay in touch wiith them. and going to leah's poetry reading and not talking to her. i'm sure that everyone wanted to do that but she's worth the wait. i hate that i'm ranting about this but it's just so disappointing. i have cathy and bernadine and leah. i wish that cathy would go out and about with me but she only trusts B and i totally gets that. she doesn't like change. which i totally get also.

more tomorrow. i'm so grateful for the correspondents dinner. for remembering to dvr it. and for my critters. i did one good thing besides chanting a whole lot earlier. i did trick and treats with cocoa. we start in the living room and she does her routine and i give her pieces of a Doggie Dollar -- beef jerky -- and then we "run" to the bedroom and she does her thing and i give her another treat. we do this for about 20 minutes. i listen to everything from my Hamilton cast album to my James Taylor Pandora channel. oh and kacey musgraves. i love country music but i don't confess this to many people.

and after i did t and t with cocoa chanel (cc) i did a bunch of my PT exercises for lower back and inside left knee so i'm thinking and feeling that i am pretty damn cool. and i'm not as guilty about not getting myself and CC to the store to shop/hunt.

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