Negotiators Reach Deal to Avert Government Shutdown: Congressional negotiators have announced an "agreement in principle” on a broad spending bill they hope will satisfy President Donald Trump's demands for additional border barriers and avert another government shutdown at the end of this week.
Of course, it’s important to remember that in Donald Trump’s America of 2019, after a bill passes both the House and Senate, it still needs to be sent on to Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh for final approval - so there’s that.
But even so, I think it’s quite obvious that while Americans may disagree on many things, one thing we can all agree on is the need to build a two-thousand-mile-long monument to Donald Trump that will last for centuries. I mean, who couldn’t get behind that?
And all those skeptics out there had better remember that this Trump Monument will prevent crime, illicit drugs and illegal immigration - just as effectively as our nation’s other sacred monuments - like the Jefferson Memorial, Mt Rushmore, and Kentucky's Ark Encounter Creationist Theme Park have done before it.