Bang! The door to my bed room crashed open leaving a permanent impression in the wall where the handle fit snugly.
I began to shake uncontrollably. Covers ripped from my hands.
"Get the F**k up! you lazy piece of crap. I won't have you suckin' from my tit boy. Pull em down, you know the drill. Do you need to learn princess?"
Need to learn, learn what? That he was the slime under my finger nails from the endless hours of ' Chores ' I was forced to do every day since my 5th birthday. That children got their learning from their daddies, the way I did every morning. That urges need tendin'?
That love means he, no they, never have to say SORRY.
"Damn you suck." Minutes later he would let go of the back of my head and trace my lips with his stinky middle finger. Then SLAP. Backhanded those lips he so hotly desired. " Now clean me up."
I couldn't ever figure out why it was me. Why was it my turn? Please not this morning. What did I do? Why isn't he happy with me? What do I need to do to make him LOVE me? Why did my mom leave me?
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. The mantra I kept to my self, with every Uh ha, Uh ha, Uh ha, he moaned.
Fast as I could, with whatever I could, to wipe away his glory. Ashamed to look at him. Afraid that he'd snap.
Stuffing himself back into those smelly grey jeans, the growl would rise from his throat,"Good son, good boy, Now get to f**kin' school and learn somethin'."
YIP! Ouch. Poor Shotzy must of been in the way of those dirty steel toed boots. I think she was the only one who fared worse than myself most of these days. Oh why didn't she run?
I grabbed my jeans and the only sweater that fit and slinked off to the bathroom. Scooping Shotzy up in my bruised arms and squeezing her as tight as I could.I whispered into her ear.
"You're OK honey I love you." So HE couldn't hear me.