Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in favor of murder, but let’s face it: Prohibiting murder clearly isn’t working. We still have thousands of murders every year, murderers clog our courts, they clog our prisons because so many states don’t have enough sense to execute them. So why bother? There’s a better way.

Arm everyone. Think about it. How many cops are there? How many adult Americans are there? Wouldn’t it make more sense to use the entire adult population of America to prevent murders? And the population doesn’t cost us taxes!

Who’s going to murder someone if they know retaliation will be immediate from everyone they see?

If someone does commit murder, what would the penalty be? Grab a bunch of your neighbors, find the scum and shoot him. Justice is immediate. No court costs and we’re not stuck with the tab of giving a murderer housing, food, clothing, medical care for life, and even recreation! Why, for “rehabilitation?” His victims don’t get rehabilitation, they’re dead. He shouldn’t be walking around and we all know it. 

This applies everywhere. I realize we’re thinking about this approach in schools, but we should really be looking at applying this approach more globally because murders aren’t confined to schools. It would work everywhere. Like, for example, airports. Ron recently ran a clip of Archie Bunker suggesting that the way to end airline hijackings is to issue handguns to every passenger (linked to by Ron’s name). Same idea. Who’s pulling a gun if everyone else has one? Think of all those airport security lines suddenly gone! You can just go board your plane.

And this approach would really help the economy. Americans are big in the firearms manufacturing business and there are retail outlets all over the United States who would make more money and hire more people if every adult in America bought a gun and ammo. 

In fact, we can help both the economy and make sure Americans do their civic duty by making it legally obligatory to own a gun. Participating in local law enforcement should be considered a responsibility of citizenship. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.

This post is dedicated to Wayne LaPierre and a whole lot of Republican legislators.

Views: 214

Comment by alsoknownas on February 24, 2018 at 7:45am

Edit out the italics, get a nom de plume and post this on some NRA endorsed site.

You'll be a national hero.

Comment by koshersalaami on February 24, 2018 at 7:54am

Especially in Connecticut

The problem with a lot of my satire is it’s too feasible because the joke is based on people thinking that average people have limits. A lot don’t. 

A few years ago I wrote an April Fools Day post that I didn’t publish called I Come Clean About Zionism. It was Way over the top. It included allegations like that Hitler was a Jewish plant and most of the Holocaust was faked in order to found Israel, and I put in a lot of detail to make it seem reasonable. I had Irving Berlin write the Horst Wessel Lied. (It’s not as funny if you don’t.) The people I showed it to universally said Do Not Publish! There are people who will believe it. 

Comment by Ron Powell on February 24, 2018 at 8:55am

Trump stole the idea of arming teachers from Archie Bunker...

Both of them are Queens originals..Trump’s boyhood home in Queens, NY went on the market for 1.65 million....

Archie Bunker's house...
Comment by Anna Herrington on February 24, 2018 at 9:23am

I must say, I really appreciate that in this latest school slaughter aftermath, there's little mention of the murderer and his name and face is *not* being shown everywhere.....

as it should be, imho, regardless of age.

(Rather bizarre seeing Archie Bunker's house all shiny and in color! having only seen it during the show.... and we only had b/w TV until early '80s at our house. One of the few shows allowed in our house. That and the news. And Billy Graham (which was just on all over the south when he was on, all 3 networks, if I remember correctly. All three my parents talked back at, sometimes yelled at - excellent critical thinking exercises for me as a child...)

Comment by koshersalaami on February 24, 2018 at 9:47am

Anna, that’s a really interesting observation. I think what happened is that the kids coopted the coverage. 

Comment by Foolish Monkey on February 24, 2018 at 10:06am

This post makes me sad. There are people who fervently believe in and visualize an america that you've pictured here. I can fight for and against a lot of issues but this is beyond an issue. This is a national threat.

When did it become legal for weapons of war to be in possession of the general public? for as long as I can remember access to most firearms was carefully controlled. 

Comment by Anna Herrington on February 24, 2018 at 10:30am

kosh, I agree. Go kids! Also wondered if the age was a factor....

And *least* likely, the media has realized the less coverage of the murderers looking for fame in their shoot 'em up glory, the more on the victims and on changing the system, the better.

If the result for the murderers is no fame or attention in the media at all but just life long punishment, how much less appealing to an already senseless idea....?

Again, go all you Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school activists!!

Thrilled that the NRA corporate associations are already starting to drop like flies. As for lasting change.... we'll see, it will be on all of us not just the kids... but better news than has ever happened before, post-senseless shooting.

Comment by Anna Herrington on February 24, 2018 at 11:04am

Saw this and wondered where to share as it's not really a post, but very interesting considering the school's kids activism today.

Why not here  ; )

On Marjory Stoneman Douglas herself, taken from natgeo (I think) instagram photo description of Douglas:

"I photographed Marjory Stoneman Douglas on assignment for National Geographic back in 1990. I didn’t know much about her before that day, but it didn’t take long to see what a force she was – and would continue to be -- until her death in 1998 at the age of 108.

She was many things during her lifetime: a young journalist at The Miami Herald; the author of a handful of books; an early suffragette and feminist; a fiery political and civil rights activist; and, finally, a fierce advocate for the restoration of South Florida’s fragile wetlands – her beloved Everglades. Her 1947 book, “The Everglades: River of Grass,” became a best seller, and, according to her New York Timesobituary, “changed forever the way Americans look at wetlands.” (It is still in print.)

In a now-famous quote, she once said: “Be a nuisance where it counts. Do your part to inform and stimulate the public to join your action. Be depressed, discouraged, and disappointed at failure and the disheartening effects of ignorance, greed, corruption and bad politics—but never give up.”

Words to live by. And words that should – if they have not already -- inspire the students at Stoneman Douglas. They are certainly following in her footsteps and living her legacy. Were she here today, she would be locking arms with these students and loudly decrying the purchase of assault weapons by civilians, made possible by the morally corrupt politicians bought by the NRA.

In an interview with NPR in 1981, in which she was talking about her own crusade to save the wetlands, she said, “I’ll tell you the whole thing is an enormous battle between man’s intelligence and his stupidity. And I’m not at all sure that stupidity isn’t going to win out in the long run.” #marjorystonemandouglas #stonemandouglas #neveragain

Comment by koshersalaami on February 24, 2018 at 11:30am


Douglas sounds like she’d be thrilled with the kids 

Kvelling in Heaven

Comment by Ron Powell on February 24, 2018 at 11:49am


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