Mariah Carey’s New Year’s Eve No Hot Tea Disaster

Mariah Carey’s New Year’s Eve No Hot Tea Disaster:  Mariah Carey’s set on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve was once again the subject of intense ridicule on social media after she declared it a complete “disaster” that she didn’t get the hot tea she had been promised.  I don’t care if she demands a little tea, because frankly - I can’t think of anything more appropriate than Mariah Carey music as a way to welcome in…1993!

North Korean Leader Claims Nuclear Button on His Desk:  North Korean leader Kim Jong Un boasted during an annual New Year’s Day speech that he has a nuclear button right on his desk and that the entire United States is within range - but also he vowed not to attack unless threatened.  Well, the way I see it - we have two possible responses to the North Korean threat.  One - would be for President Trump to set off the biggest, most powerful and most beautiful nuclear explosion ever - one which no other president has even come close to exploding or two (a more practical solution) - we ask our close ally in the region Japan if they would consider unleashing Godzilla on the North Koreans.

Neuroscientist Discovers He Has Brain of a Psychopath:  After getting a brain scan, a prominent UC Irvine neuroscientist revealed that he not only has the brain of a psychopath, but he is also related to seven alleged murderers - including Lizzie Borden.  All I can say is - if I were him, I’d be pretty damn careful about who you ask to carve the turkey when the family gathers at Thanksgiving.

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Comment by koshersalaami on January 1, 2018 at 11:28pm

I wasn't aware of the Mariah Carey issue. However, I think whoever is ridiculing her fails to take into account why she’s likely to be asking for tea, and it’s not because she likes it. She’s a singer. What you drink affects your voice, and hers was televised live. For her to be finicky about her instrument is entirely appropriate, particularly just before a high profile performance like that. Screwing with her voice and, by extension, her confidence just before she performs for millions is not a good idea. There are a lot of inconvenient, expensive, and ridiculous requests artists require of promoters. A cup of tea isn’t one of them. I hope the promoter loses business over this, because they deserve to. 

Comment by Johnny Robish on January 1, 2018 at 11:58pm

While your points are totally valid, I have to add that personally, I am not seriously concerned about her tea demands (or that of other celebrities for that matter) - but I write jokes about things that are trending.  That said, I think what set Twitter ablaze on this was that she labeled this a "disaster."  I think many felt calling this a "disaster" when so many go to bed hungry is a bit self-indulgent.      

Comment by alsoknownas on January 2, 2018 at 11:06am

Remember all those times Tony Bennett acted the same?

oh...wait. That's right. He has class.

Comment by Tom Cordle on January 2, 2018 at 3:20pm

Maria needs some T? How about some TLC instead? Thomas Linden Cordle

I want somebody to conduct a poll of Americans? Which world leader frightens you more, Kim Jong Undead or Cheetolini?

I don't know about the brain scans, but this guy certainly looks like a psycho

Comment by Boanerges on January 2, 2018 at 3:24pm

I heard that Kim threatened to nuke Australia. Australia said it would ship him a box of the local wildlife in retaliation.

Comment by koshersalaami on January 2, 2018 at 3:29pm

Bennett is not a diva. As an older guy, particularly a guy from that macho a culture, that would not go over well. But Carey is not only a figurative diva, she’s a literal diva. 

Cheetolini, definitely. Kim Jong Undead probably won’t do anything because anything nuclear would be suicidal. Cheetolini is in a position to do a great deal more damage. He’s not quite the nut case Kim is but he’s enough of one to cause a whole lot of problems. 

Comment by Johnny Robish on January 2, 2018 at 5:29pm

Haha!  Great stuff my friends!


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