Mariah Carey’s New Year’s Eve No Hot Tea Disaster: Mariah Carey’s set on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve was once again the subject of intense ridicule on social media after she declared it a complete “disaster” that she didn’t get the hot tea she had been promised. I don’t care if she demands a little tea, because frankly - I can’t think of anything more appropriate than Mariah Carey music as a way to welcome in…1993!
North Korean Leader Claims Nuclear Button on His Desk: North Korean leader Kim Jong Un boasted during an annual New Year’s Day speech that he has a nuclear button right on his desk and that the entire United States is within range - but also he vowed not to attack unless threatened. Well, the way I see it - we have two possible responses to the North Korean threat. One - would be for President Trump to set off the biggest, most powerful and most beautiful nuclear explosion ever - one which no other president has even come close to exploding or two (a more practical solution) - we ask our close ally in the region Japan if they would consider unleashing Godzilla on the North Koreans.
Neuroscientist Discovers He Has Brain of a Psychopath: After getting a brain scan, a prominent UC Irvine neuroscientist revealed that he not only has the brain of a psychopath, but he is also related to seven alleged murderers - including Lizzie Borden. All I can say is - if I were him, I’d be pretty damn careful about who you ask to carve the turkey when the family gathers at Thanksgiving.