Man to Launch Himself in Homemade Rocket to Prove Earth Flat: Seeking to prove that a conspiracy of astronauts fabricated the shape of the Earth, a California man intends to prove the Earth is flat by launching himself 1,800 feet into the air at 500 miles per hour in a homemade, steam-powered rocket he built out of scrap metal. So, to prove the Earth is flat, he’s gonna go “splat!” I’m guessing he must have missed the last solar eclipse. And he’ll be flying at an altitude of only 1800 feet? Why we have buildings a lot taller than that. And commercial jetliners frequently cruise at 30,000 feet. Why put yourself through all this - when you can just buy an airline ticket to Cleveland and ask for a window seat? On a positive note, he shouldn’t have any problem launching the thing, because President Trump just announced plans to repeal “The Law Of Gravity” as part of his promise to deregulate everything.
Archeologists Find Roman Shipwrecks off Egypt's Coast: Egyptian officials report archaeologists have discovered three sunken shipwrecks dating back more than 2,000 years to Roman times off the coast of the city of Alexandria. Alert Egyptian officials said that when the ships didn’t even show up after 2000 years, we felt something may have happened to them and that it was time to start looking.
Human Teeth Evolved from the Scales of Ancient Shark: New evidence out of the University of Cambridge suggests that the teeth in your mouth have their origin in the scales of primitive shark-like fish. Good - then maybe I’ll send them my dental bills.