Lake Elsinore Declares Public Safety Crisis After Poppy Apocalypse: The fields surrounding the California city of Lake Elsinore have been so abundant with strikingly colored poppies this year - drawing so many people that the city has been forced to declare a public safety crisis, with city officials claiming that "our city is simply not made for Disneyland-size crowds.” Not made for Disneyland-size crowds? Hell, then just charge everyone “Disneyland-sized” admission prices and - voilà, your problem is solved.
Killer Whales Spotted off Chile Likely to Be a New Species: Marine scientists report they have encountered killer whales off the coast of southern Chile which they believe may be an entirely new species of orca that they have labeled “Type D.” Well, maybe they’re a new species - and maybe they’re not. Let’s remember, everything in science isn’t just black and white. One thing's for sure, they better not tell Sea World, or the next thing you know, someone will be handing these orcas their SAG cards.
Woman Doesn’t Want Her $273M Lottery Winner Ex Back: The ex-wife of the unemployed New Jersey man who just won a $273 million Mega Millions jackpot, told the New York Post she has morals and has zero plans to return to her husband, to whom she was married and supported for 15 years and continues to pay spousal support after their divorce last October. Well, even if she doesn’t want him back, I don’t think he’ll be too lonely. I’m sure it’ll be just a matter of time before he’s contacted by one of the Kardashians.