Khloé Kardashian on Vacation in Mexico: The tabloids are reporting that reality star Khloé Kardashian has been showing off her “beach body” while vacationing in Puerto Vallarta. First off, I’d like to know why it is that every Bigfoot picture always seems so grainy and slightly out of focus? But come on, she’s on vacation from what - shopping sprees in Beverly Hills? Isn’t her entire life more or less a vacation? Anyway, that’s certainly an interesting application for "Fix A Flat.”
Mystery Hairy Sea Monster Washes Up on Siberian Beach: The remains of what is being described as a giant, hairy monster have been discovered washed up on the shore of the Pacific side Bering Sea, leaving local residents speculating as to what it could possibly be. While I’m certainly no marine biologist, my guess is that its either one of the Kardashian sisters without makeup, an old Trump toupée or a Hairy Houdini.
Former Tennessee Vice Mayor Caught Masturbating: Three women have testified that a former Mt. Carmel, Tenn. Vice Mayor William Blakely honked to get their attention, then proceeded to masturbate while behind the wheel while driving over 90 miles per hour. All I can say is, thank goodness he wasn’t texting also. Now I’m not quite sure whether he was driving or whacking at 90 MPH, but one thing’s for sure, now we know why he was the “vice mayor.” Anyway, if you ask me - this guy needs to get a grip on himself.